Aah, the holidays. A time for stress. A time for family. Or is that the other way around?
Christmas and New Years were pretty low key. Christmas was with parents--nothing very much out of the ordinary from most other days and quite enjoyable. New years day had a little more spice with a fancy lunch and magic show, followed later by a nice night with a friend. I like to keep it simple, especially during traditionally high stress times.
The holidays in past years have been ridiculously high stress. Usually my grandparents are in town and that ramps up the levels. Second, I like to make lots of tasty treats for Christmas gifts--like chocolate truffles. That adds to the weight problem with all the tasting and trial runs. These two factors hit my mental state hard. Not so much trouble with this year.
Granted, this year was not a complete escape. I have been stuck at 200 pounds since I went to stay with my parents an hour north of town. That is far better than past years' gain, but still a blow to my weight loss ego. All the key lime pie was most likely the culprit of my down...er...up-fall.
I finally have something to keep me busy in my downtime: volunteering! Yup, I have too much time on my hands, so I decided to do some good with it. There is a local food pantry that is always in need of help, and I am a willing minion. I am loving it! I think I am sick of tortillas and eggs already--those are the two items that always need sorted and packaged. So far my favorite (and elusive) job is food distribution where I actually get to interact with people. Only one chance to do that job so far, unfortunately. I want more!
While volunteering I meet some interesting people too. This last time through I was with lots of the community service people. They are serving court sentences for things that made for interesting conversation. Lots of potheads, lots of petty theft, and the most common: drunk driving sentences. Last Thursday one of the guys--major repeat pot and petty theft offender--was most definitely high while trying to work. Let me emphasize 'trying' as he was mostly useless in his schlepping duties, but he was there and that is what counts. I do like most of the people there and almost all are really nice, and useful too!
Overall the holidays were pretty darn good. I just hope that the weight starts to fall again soon.
Sunday, January 1, 2017
Monday, December 19, 2016
I Did It! Now What?
Two hundred pounds! I made it! So why do I feel so bad?
I overate yesterday big time, celebrating my new victory--with food. Not the smartest thing to do when trying to lose weight. This morning, thanks to the extra food and drink, I weighed 201.5, which is no biggie since I know that it is not my...what shall I call it?...true weight. But still. Grr.
I think that for some reason I am trying to sabotage myself. Not consciously, but very much a real problem. It has been years since I was below 200. I now have only fifty to sixty pounds to go, but hey, that is a third of the way there. Maybe there is part of me that is holding on to a known part of my life. Perhaps it is because I think I don't deserve to be healthy (a horrible idea, but I know that it is there). Why? Who the bleep knows.
There is a new-to-me treadmill sitting in my living room now making it impossible for me to procrastinate walking... well, it should make it impossible. Yet I am sitting like a lump here on my comfy chair. I just paid for another year of pool use too, despite not having gone in a while. More on that in a bit. There are options for exercise depending on how I am feeling, yet the gumption to get up and do it is lacking and no amount of kicks to the rear seem to be changing that. Perhaps over-caffeinating would work.
So I need to find a real kick in the rear to counteract the self-sabotaging that I have been part of for a while. One good way to do that is to get back into swimming. Which I tried and failed miserably.
I figured that my old suit was not going to be up to the task of containing my (rather pain-in-the-back) boobage, so I dug out my new suit and tried it on. Success! It fit! I had a list of things to bring and do while at the pool. Pay for a year's pass which involved taking my checkbook with me, trade out suits, trade out towel, go for a swim, and (if I remembered) fill up my soap bottle.
I got to the pool, went to pay for the pass...and forgot my checkbook at home. Fine. I decided that I may as well try out the new suit. I get all situated and admire the results. Off to the pool!
About fifteen feet in I realize there is a problem: my built-in life preservers are trying to escape their holder. Fine. I can just do a different stroke. They truly escaped their holder. Whoops! Razzumfrassum grr. Back out of the pool I go, less than five minutes since I got in.
So I shower off and get back into clothes, growling all the way. I remembered the soap so I got that taken care of. Then I walk out without the old suit or switching out towels. At least I took home the new suit to alter it.
I get home and realize that nothing got accomplished except the thing that I had marked as optional.
At least I remembered the soap.
I overate yesterday big time, celebrating my new victory--with food. Not the smartest thing to do when trying to lose weight. This morning, thanks to the extra food and drink, I weighed 201.5, which is no biggie since I know that it is not my...what shall I call it?...true weight. But still. Grr.
I think that for some reason I am trying to sabotage myself. Not consciously, but very much a real problem. It has been years since I was below 200. I now have only fifty to sixty pounds to go, but hey, that is a third of the way there. Maybe there is part of me that is holding on to a known part of my life. Perhaps it is because I think I don't deserve to be healthy (a horrible idea, but I know that it is there). Why? Who the bleep knows.
There is a new-to-me treadmill sitting in my living room now making it impossible for me to procrastinate walking... well, it should make it impossible. Yet I am sitting like a lump here on my comfy chair. I just paid for another year of pool use too, despite not having gone in a while. More on that in a bit. There are options for exercise depending on how I am feeling, yet the gumption to get up and do it is lacking and no amount of kicks to the rear seem to be changing that. Perhaps over-caffeinating would work.
So I need to find a real kick in the rear to counteract the self-sabotaging that I have been part of for a while. One good way to do that is to get back into swimming. Which I tried and failed miserably.
I figured that my old suit was not going to be up to the task of containing my (rather pain-in-the-back) boobage, so I dug out my new suit and tried it on. Success! It fit! I had a list of things to bring and do while at the pool. Pay for a year's pass which involved taking my checkbook with me, trade out suits, trade out towel, go for a swim, and (if I remembered) fill up my soap bottle.
I got to the pool, went to pay for the pass...and forgot my checkbook at home. Fine. I decided that I may as well try out the new suit. I get all situated and admire the results. Off to the pool!
About fifteen feet in I realize there is a problem: my built-in life preservers are trying to escape their holder. Fine. I can just do a different stroke. They truly escaped their holder. Whoops! Razzumfrassum grr. Back out of the pool I go, less than five minutes since I got in.
So I shower off and get back into clothes, growling all the way. I remembered the soap so I got that taken care of. Then I walk out without the old suit or switching out towels. At least I took home the new suit to alter it.
I get home and realize that nothing got accomplished except the thing that I had marked as optional.
At least I remembered the soap.
Friday, December 2, 2016
Bits and Pieces
Just a short post today. The dog is free and clear on lupus! As it turned out the lump was a pre-cancerous tumor that didn't have any chance of spreading to the rest of Link's body after being removed. All I have to do now is to keep an eye out for any more of those lumps and get them taken off quickly.
Yay! Healthy boy! (Now if only his joints would cooperate--both ACLs torn, but he is stable so no surgery.)
In other news: it is cold. I call 20's cold by the way. And the 40's aren't much better. Yay for reliable heat! I pray for all those who are without heat and shelter in this winter time. It is time for blanket donation again.
In the weight loss department I managed to not gain any weight while I was on vacation! Yay! This is pretty amazing considering that it was during Thanksgiving and my total amount of exercise consisted of going up and down the stairs at my grandparents to get from the TV to the fridge (okay, and the garage to the bedroom). The goodies were endless! Here is to losing some more weight in time for the new year! Hopefully another five pounds to get me to 200, but most likely it will be somewhere in the 204 range with how slowly I was losing before the trip combined with making edible goodies for family. I was wearing a tight men's size 44 belt when I started this whole thing. I now am a comfortable 38.
Finally, the worst part of coming home from a vacation is the unpacking, especially in a gear-heavy trip like hunting in the winter. Yesterday I managed to wrangle all the gear in and have some of it put away. I always forget just how big the Beast of a truck is until I unload an entire truck bed worth of gear! Another good reminder is when I have to get up and crawl around in the bed to unload items stuck out of reach from the sides (most of the stuff since the truck rides so high).
Now on to trying to get up the gumption to go swim or do some exercise of some sort. Swimming would be good since I have to pay for the pass again here in the next two weeks. Onward and downward into a pile of blankets!
Yay! Healthy boy! (Now if only his joints would cooperate--both ACLs torn, but he is stable so no surgery.)
In other news: it is cold. I call 20's cold by the way. And the 40's aren't much better. Yay for reliable heat! I pray for all those who are without heat and shelter in this winter time. It is time for blanket donation again.
In the weight loss department I managed to not gain any weight while I was on vacation! Yay! This is pretty amazing considering that it was during Thanksgiving and my total amount of exercise consisted of going up and down the stairs at my grandparents to get from the TV to the fridge (okay, and the garage to the bedroom). The goodies were endless! Here is to losing some more weight in time for the new year! Hopefully another five pounds to get me to 200, but most likely it will be somewhere in the 204 range with how slowly I was losing before the trip combined with making edible goodies for family. I was wearing a tight men's size 44 belt when I started this whole thing. I now am a comfortable 38.
Finally, the worst part of coming home from a vacation is the unpacking, especially in a gear-heavy trip like hunting in the winter. Yesterday I managed to wrangle all the gear in and have some of it put away. I always forget just how big the Beast of a truck is until I unload an entire truck bed worth of gear! Another good reminder is when I have to get up and crawl around in the bed to unload items stuck out of reach from the sides (most of the stuff since the truck rides so high).
Now on to trying to get up the gumption to go swim or do some exercise of some sort. Swimming would be good since I have to pay for the pass again here in the next two weeks. Onward and downward into a pile of blankets!
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Responsibility in Fun
After the last post it is nice to be able to say that life is going well. And it is a long post too.
It was a great time to go on a vacation to see family and search for the elusive Bambi that existed in the surrounding woods. 882 miles later dad and I arrived at the grandparents' house. It was to be a little over a week of relaxation and time away with dad.
So I packed up the Beast (the giant truck) and loaded in with the dog and dad and headed up north. The dog had the most space of any of us. Dad, of course, drove the whole way. Fine with me since I am not particularly in love with driving the Beast, in fact I am definitely not a fan of driving it. I far prefer my little tiny blue baby that could fit in the Beast's bed.
To be honest, I was not expecting the visit to go well. Politics and religion are topics that my grandparents are fond of--not for discussing, but for pontificating. The soap boxes get more use when dad is not in the room, so I stuck to dad during times of likely inflammatory comments, such as when Fox news was on the T.V. As it turned out there were only a few attempts to start a political discussion and those were easily sidestepped and dropped! Yay!
Operation number one was to get Bambi or his dad into the freezer. I had more practice this time and was going up knowing that I could do it. It was hard. Harder than it should have been. We scouted all around the Black Hills of South Dakota to find the perfect deer--then I did the worst thing I could do; I gut shot a deer by getting in a hurry and not waiting to shoot. What does gut shot mean? A long painful death. And I did it. My responsibility.
That is part of the deal with archery hunting, it is not as detached as rifle hunting. You almost feel like you can reach out and touch the deer. You know when you have wounded an animal and when you have made a good shot. The gut shot was my fault. The final shot was my responsibility as well.
It was nearing sundown and the end of hunting time. We were out with my grandfather who had his tag for a white tail buck that needed filled. He had already gotten his (tiny, but still meat) deer that was dressed and in the back of the Beast. A deer that had been taunting me daily was now out of the no-go area that was the local neighbor's garden plot. He got stupid. (Ya see, deer have this sense. They know when they are in safe areas and during safe times. Only the stupid or careless ones get caught outside and in targetable areas.)
So Mr. Stupid, a large but only two points on either side mule deer, was in clear view on a flat area looking broadside at me. Perfect view. I snuck up a little and waited while he stepped a little further out. Forty yards, dad had said. Just on the edge of my effective range. I aimed and shot--right where I wanted. He went down quickly, which was good since the daylight was dwindling fast. Dad backed up the truck onto a hillside so that we could lift the 130 pound monster (okay, a monster for me) without actually lifting the entire weight. We got him (Bambi's dad) and the little one (Bambi) and made it home with time to spare.
Wednesday we got the deer. Thursday, therefore, was a day of rest while the meat set (good, since it was also Thanksgiving and nobody wants to work while stuffed). Grandma made a smorgasbord of foods that busted my diet--and I didn't care one bit. Friday was a morning of getting the deer all cut up and freezing so that we could leave early Saturday morning. Saturday and then into Sunday was coming home. This time the dog had the entire back seat to himself with no cooler taking up a seat. Who gets preferential treatment, me or the dog?
So now I am almost home and staying at the parental units' house till my doctor appointment then going home. It is now cold here (okay, not COLD but in the low 40's) so I am not too keen on walking outside. Luckily I have a new-to-me treadmill coming into the house soon. No excuses. Just like the blog--no excuses for not updating!
It was a great time to go on a vacation to see family and search for the elusive Bambi that existed in the surrounding woods. 882 miles later dad and I arrived at the grandparents' house. It was to be a little over a week of relaxation and time away with dad.
So I packed up the Beast (the giant truck) and loaded in with the dog and dad and headed up north. The dog had the most space of any of us. Dad, of course, drove the whole way. Fine with me since I am not particularly in love with driving the Beast, in fact I am definitely not a fan of driving it. I far prefer my little tiny blue baby that could fit in the Beast's bed.
To be honest, I was not expecting the visit to go well. Politics and religion are topics that my grandparents are fond of--not for discussing, but for pontificating. The soap boxes get more use when dad is not in the room, so I stuck to dad during times of likely inflammatory comments, such as when Fox news was on the T.V. As it turned out there were only a few attempts to start a political discussion and those were easily sidestepped and dropped! Yay!
Operation number one was to get Bambi or his dad into the freezer. I had more practice this time and was going up knowing that I could do it. It was hard. Harder than it should have been. We scouted all around the Black Hills of South Dakota to find the perfect deer--then I did the worst thing I could do; I gut shot a deer by getting in a hurry and not waiting to shoot. What does gut shot mean? A long painful death. And I did it. My responsibility.
That is part of the deal with archery hunting, it is not as detached as rifle hunting. You almost feel like you can reach out and touch the deer. You know when you have wounded an animal and when you have made a good shot. The gut shot was my fault. The final shot was my responsibility as well.
It was nearing sundown and the end of hunting time. We were out with my grandfather who had his tag for a white tail buck that needed filled. He had already gotten his (tiny, but still meat) deer that was dressed and in the back of the Beast. A deer that had been taunting me daily was now out of the no-go area that was the local neighbor's garden plot. He got stupid. (Ya see, deer have this sense. They know when they are in safe areas and during safe times. Only the stupid or careless ones get caught outside and in targetable areas.)
So Mr. Stupid, a large but only two points on either side mule deer, was in clear view on a flat area looking broadside at me. Perfect view. I snuck up a little and waited while he stepped a little further out. Forty yards, dad had said. Just on the edge of my effective range. I aimed and shot--right where I wanted. He went down quickly, which was good since the daylight was dwindling fast. Dad backed up the truck onto a hillside so that we could lift the 130 pound monster (okay, a monster for me) without actually lifting the entire weight. We got him (Bambi's dad) and the little one (Bambi) and made it home with time to spare.
Wednesday we got the deer. Thursday, therefore, was a day of rest while the meat set (good, since it was also Thanksgiving and nobody wants to work while stuffed). Grandma made a smorgasbord of foods that busted my diet--and I didn't care one bit. Friday was a morning of getting the deer all cut up and freezing so that we could leave early Saturday morning. Saturday and then into Sunday was coming home. This time the dog had the entire back seat to himself with no cooler taking up a seat. Who gets preferential treatment, me or the dog?
So now I am almost home and staying at the parental units' house till my doctor appointment then going home. It is now cold here (okay, not COLD but in the low 40's) so I am not too keen on walking outside. Luckily I have a new-to-me treadmill coming into the house soon. No excuses. Just like the blog--no excuses for not updating!
Saturday, November 12, 2016
Three Days. Two blows.
This week can go away any time, okay?
In the past three days life got darker.
Thursday while I was out with some really good friends from out of town I got a phone call from the vet. What we thought was just a basic cyst on Link was actually something completely different and we never would have known without the pathology testing. He has either canine discoid lupus or systemic lupus. We are hoping for the discoid variety because it only affects the skin and not like human lupus that attacks the joints and organs. I won't know what to do about it until the second pathology study gets back--probably Tuesday.
So now Link has about an inch-and-a-half of stitched wound from a lentil sized bump they removed. All we can do is wait. And hope that steroids are not part of the deal--I don't want him to be crazy like I was.
So that was the end of Thursday. My closest buddy has an autoimmune disease just like me. Joy.
Today rolls around and I got a call from a friend--another friend of mine died of a heart attack. He was fairly young and healthy so it came as a surprise. I was numb. I couldn't feel anything. It took me until this last hour that it clicked into my brain just what happened. I will never see him again. He had kids. He had a wife. Yet he was taken away from all that.
I am angry. I am sad. I am confused. All at once.
So now I do what I can to help and hope for the best. It sucks.
In the past three days life got darker.
Thursday while I was out with some really good friends from out of town I got a phone call from the vet. What we thought was just a basic cyst on Link was actually something completely different and we never would have known without the pathology testing. He has either canine discoid lupus or systemic lupus. We are hoping for the discoid variety because it only affects the skin and not like human lupus that attacks the joints and organs. I won't know what to do about it until the second pathology study gets back--probably Tuesday.
So now Link has about an inch-and-a-half of stitched wound from a lentil sized bump they removed. All we can do is wait. And hope that steroids are not part of the deal--I don't want him to be crazy like I was.
So that was the end of Thursday. My closest buddy has an autoimmune disease just like me. Joy.
Today rolls around and I got a call from a friend--another friend of mine died of a heart attack. He was fairly young and healthy so it came as a surprise. I was numb. I couldn't feel anything. It took me until this last hour that it clicked into my brain just what happened. I will never see him again. He had kids. He had a wife. Yet he was taken away from all that.
I am angry. I am sad. I am confused. All at once.
So now I do what I can to help and hope for the best. It sucks.
Monday, October 31, 2016
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!
I have had a productive last few days.
First I helped out a friend making boozemahol. There was lots of chatting and joking around while getting things done. I think it was a good time all the way around. Oh shucks, having to wait around for stuff to boil, and have a great time while doing it.
A couple of friends needed a hand...or really four wheels...I took on the role of chauffeur up to town and back so they could get a replacement vehicle. Got paid in a wonderful way: tasty and healthy lunch! Glad to help and got me a mini vacation!
Next up, my dad and I worked on the house. The trim had been needing painting for the last five years and it was time to get it done. Part of it got done the past week. We rounded up the materials and started in on it again, this time knowing that it was going to be more work than the last round. It was. There is quite a bit of wood rot to deal with--there are several spots that need to really be replaced completely--but not right now. We got about half or so of it done. Next week will come more painting.
Yesterday, after we got sunned out (too hot and dry) I picked all the ripe tomatoes (that I could see) that I could find from the six plats in my garden. Needless to say, based on those six I got over four gallons--enough to fill my kitchen sink--of fresh tomatoes. I blanched the maters, removed the skins, and chopped them before dumping all four gallons into the monster pot. Eventually I managed to create and can three pint jars of spaghetti sauce base. The other batch I cooked down and turned into tomato juice which I froze...All my regular canning equipment was up at my parents so I made do with what I hads.
All told I have had a busy last four days--productive too! Now I am ready for a nap and a basic calm day curled up with Netflix, a dog, and tea. Or maybe not the dog. Playing involves movement. Calmly sitting and snuggling is fine today. I am doing nothing strenuous. Today I am done.
First I helped out a friend making boozemahol. There was lots of chatting and joking around while getting things done. I think it was a good time all the way around. Oh shucks, having to wait around for stuff to boil, and have a great time while doing it.
A couple of friends needed a hand...or really four wheels...I took on the role of chauffeur up to town and back so they could get a replacement vehicle. Got paid in a wonderful way: tasty and healthy lunch! Glad to help and got me a mini vacation!
Next up, my dad and I worked on the house. The trim had been needing painting for the last five years and it was time to get it done. Part of it got done the past week. We rounded up the materials and started in on it again, this time knowing that it was going to be more work than the last round. It was. There is quite a bit of wood rot to deal with--there are several spots that need to really be replaced completely--but not right now. We got about half or so of it done. Next week will come more painting.
Yesterday, after we got sunned out (too hot and dry) I picked all the ripe tomatoes (that I could see) that I could find from the six plats in my garden. Needless to say, based on those six I got over four gallons--enough to fill my kitchen sink--of fresh tomatoes. I blanched the maters, removed the skins, and chopped them before dumping all four gallons into the monster pot. Eventually I managed to create and can three pint jars of spaghetti sauce base. The other batch I cooked down and turned into tomato juice which I froze...All my regular canning equipment was up at my parents so I made do with what I hads.
All told I have had a busy last four days--productive too! Now I am ready for a nap and a basic calm day curled up with Netflix, a dog, and tea. Or maybe not the dog. Playing involves movement. Calmly sitting and snuggling is fine today. I am doing nothing strenuous. Today I am done.
Monday, October 24, 2016
Took me Long Enough
I am back from a three week adventure out hunting in the Black Hills of South Dakota. My dad and I had a great time toodling around the hills. We were out looking at whitetail and mule deer to put in the freezer. Between meds causing twitching, and just a plain bad shot, I killed a deer but couldn't find him afterward, even with hours of trying to track him. No luck. Dammit.
Now that I am more stable we are going out sometime in the next month to try again. Also after a large amount of practice this time. I had complained earlier about practice--I was wrong. I can't just pick up the bow and have it come back to me. I need a more steady hand and that only comes with reinforcement. Practice makes better--not perfect, but better. I am thinking about getting an overlay of a deer on the target to train my brain on exactly where to shoot rather than going from large dots on a canvas to lots of shot options on what will get me a deer.
Back at home I realized that the tomatoes had not been picked. Interesting. That means that my neighbor (who takes care of the yard) spent a while in jail--I was expecting that from conversations we had before I left. Shit happens. Especially with known ex-dealers. (Yes, I know he doesn't deal anymore by the lack of traffic into his house.) Nice guy. I don't trust him, but he is a nice guy.
So overall, doing well. Enjoying the fall colors...if not the heat. Temps in the 80s are not what I call fall weather. Not back into the swing of exercise, but that will come with practice. Again. I didn't gain weight while out of town for three weeks, which I call a win!
Now that I am more stable we are going out sometime in the next month to try again. Also after a large amount of practice this time. I had complained earlier about practice--I was wrong. I can't just pick up the bow and have it come back to me. I need a more steady hand and that only comes with reinforcement. Practice makes better--not perfect, but better. I am thinking about getting an overlay of a deer on the target to train my brain on exactly where to shoot rather than going from large dots on a canvas to lots of shot options on what will get me a deer.
Back at home I realized that the tomatoes had not been picked. Interesting. That means that my neighbor (who takes care of the yard) spent a while in jail--I was expecting that from conversations we had before I left. Shit happens. Especially with known ex-dealers. (Yes, I know he doesn't deal anymore by the lack of traffic into his house.) Nice guy. I don't trust him, but he is a nice guy.
So overall, doing well. Enjoying the fall colors...if not the heat. Temps in the 80s are not what I call fall weather. Not back into the swing of exercise, but that will come with practice. Again. I didn't gain weight while out of town for three weeks, which I call a win!
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