A Degree in Doing Nothing

 I have a week-long course in doing nothing. And yet not.

This last week I have spent at a tiny casita in the middle of nowhere (well, at least a half hour from a gas station). I had been looking forward to this for months, especially due to work stress, and it finally came to pass. 

Preparation

Several weeks ago the corner of my car got swiped by a trailer that turned to tightly. I got it into the shop a couple weeks ago and they said that it would be done by last Friday. No word on Thursday so I called in. I got a call on Friday: It wouldn't be ready until the coming Tuesday. That would have meant that I had to take the dog in his cage in the rental car and would be traversing two-lane gravel "highways" in a Corolla. I had it all loaded up, resigned to my fate (oh woe is me. I still had a rental car thanks to insurance), when I got a call from the garage: Loki, the Forester, was done! I had never unloaded a vehicle so fast as that car. I zoomed over to pick up my car and dump that evil car. I then proceeded to load my car just as fast as I had unloaded the rental. I can pack fast when I know everything is assembled!

Once I got that stress taken care of my brain was reeling from adrenaline, even into the next couple days. Because of that I actually forgot several things from my house when I loaded up the next day, despite having a list of things to pack. One of those things? My jacket. Sitting right under where my purse sat so I "wouldn't be able to forget it." Yup. Same thing with some of my food. I packed plenty, but just barely. But town's only a half hour away.

Useless Time

Upon getting to the casita, the landlady met me at my car and gave me the lay of the land. Cute little place for cheap that takes dogs and isn't in a city or large town. Heck, I think there are twenty houses in this "town" and I can walk from one end to the other in a half hour at a leisurely stroll. I like it!

I thought about my trip and my brain convinced me that I had done nothing while on vacation. Then I scolded that same brain. I had gone up to the Gila Cliff Dwellings and hiked both that (without Link due to rules) and a second trail with the dog. The next day I made my way to The City of Rocks and crisscrossed those towers.

The City of Rocks with a Pooch

The next day I just walked the length of town, followed by a long (for me) hike. That one about did us in. I knew going into it that it was going to be at the long end of our capabilities. We got about a quarter mile from the midpoint and were still gaining altitude. Link was starting to slow, but that is normal once he gets all out of piss. After water for both of us I stood up. He sat on my feet. I tried to go up the hill...and he went back down. Well then. I got the hint that this was one large "NOPE" from the dog and we were not going to continue up the hill. He happily led the way back to the car and needed a ramp to get up, but that is nothing new. But we both got in a good hike. 

The Wrap-up

So I did nothing if "nothing" means spending money or eating out. I even managed to get in some history with the Cliff Dwellings! Nothing includes YouTube, journaling, cooking, yelling at the dog (who is getting over a hotspot on his leg that he just now is out of a cone for), and overall relaxing. And I think I am relaxed now. Only took many days achieve that! Not looking forward to heading back into work, but everything has to end eventually. Now to think about what the next vacation will be... plotplotplot...

Of Writing and Walking

I have been making it a point to write my grandparents every week, specifically for Grandpa. He doesn't hear well and being on the phone is frustrating for him. But letters? Letters he can re-read, and he does. He says he doesn't mind when I skip a week, but I know from when I do talk to him on the phone that it means a lot to him. It helps us both because I don't like to talk on the phone but like writing, and he can't hear on the phone. Wins on both fronts. I usually take one of my fifteen minute breaks during the week to scribble off a letter. This week I just needed to take that time to breathe and make a mug of tea. So, instead I waited until I got home and snagged one of my many cards. I have it in the mailbox, but I am expecting it to take forever for my mailman to discover it there. That is why I usually take the mail down to the mailbox. Which I will do if it is still there by tomorrow.

In other news, I have been making progress. From where I started two and a half years ago I have come a long way. For example, when I started I was barely able to walk at a pace of 2.5 mph. I soon went up to a 2.7 mph pace. Then 3. And stalled. I found out over the last two weeks that I actually have been improving without knowing it: I can hold a pace of 3.4 for quite a while. Outside? With the dog and on uneven ground I am back down to 2.7, but that's okay. I like not falling on my face. So progress. 

But I hadn't been exercising. Two weeks ago I was stuck where I was back at the beginning of the year. Not exercising. Eating...okay. Just okay, but not horribly. A year and a smidge ago I was exercising every day. That slid down to nothing under the excuse of my damnable plantar fasciitis. A good reason. For a while. Now that I realize it is just something I have to deal with, it is time to actually deal with it--carefully of course. I'm displeased at having to put up with it, but it is a heck of a lot better than where I was back when my rheumatoid arthritis was still interfering with life. I've been lucky to be in remission from that, so the worst I normally deal with are unhappy knees and a pissed off foot. I'll take that and run (walk) with it. Next up? Finding the weights for the weight machine AND using the machine. My arms are pretty much spaghetti at this point. Or I can buy more exercise bands (so they don't break on me at the worst time), which would probably work as well. I have even managed to get down to another smaller size over the last month--comfy jeans at that! Knees are gradually becoming less vocal the smaller I get too. I'll take what I can get.

This is what I bought myself to celebrate the jeans

Finally, I now have an air fryer. It worked well as a glorified small oven for my first explorations. (Brownies went well.) But then I tried chicken wings. Oh, lordy does it work well. I have had two days in a row of chicky wings while I try to tweak the recipe. Then devour the results. Mission successful. More research needed. And now, it is time to think about dessert that complements my dinner of crispy wings.

Balancing Act and Mr. Wile

Fearless Wile E. Coyote

Congratulations! It's February, and we made it through the first month of 2023. For me it lasted about twice as long as it should have, which isn't too bad compared to previous months. 

Let me introduce you to Mr. Wile E. Coyote who visited my parents' house this last week. While he looks small, he actually is a good 50% bigger than most of the coyotes in the area. This one looks like he had been transported from the East Mountains of the city. Highly healthy and fearless. He didn't even give me or the barking Link a passing glance as he walked five feet from the glass door on his way out of the yard. So now Link isn't allowed outside for long periods of time without supervision. So far the coyote has dragged a cat (parts of one) into the yard, so we know that he kills pets happily. Link in his slow state has little chance against Mr. Wile if it came down to a scuffle. I just hope that the coyote doesn't decide to kill the resident skunk (who comes almost daily to the yard) in the yard and leave a stench for years.

I'm not sure what February holds, but my goal is to have a healthy work/life balance. Which is hard for me. I am a people pleaser. And I have been so focused on work that I have been suffering mentally outside of the office. And that's no good for me, my friends, and even the office because that could lead me to burnout. Nobody wants me to fizzle. So I'm focusing on me a little more and what I need to do to keep me healthy.

That change of mindset includes walking most days and trying, TRYING, to eat reasonably (unlike last night). And that will help my mindset a bunch. At least I hope it will.

On the note of bettering myself, I managed a bunch of tasks yesterday and Thursday night. Cleaning up, organizing, throwing things away that nobody wants, giving away things that other people might want. And today I am dead. D.E.D. Dead. I'm not sure if the energy will hit me later today, but who knows. I hope I get enough mental/physical spoons to be able to get a walk in today. I am making it a priority, depending on spoons. I borrowed from today's stash to run my hamster wheel amount of activity yesterday. So we shall see.

For those interested, the dog is doing well. Still on pain meds in the morning, but taking supplements that should be kicking in soon. He's still sore, since he really doesn't want to play, but he is getting old, and that is just slowing him down I think. We'll be starting walks as soon as his new harness comes in so I don't yank his neck around. With how he likes to tug, we are going to have some training involved in teaching him how to walk at my side. Again. Been a while and never has worked that well. We'll learn together!

Leaking at the Seams

I'm like a leaky bucket. My brains keep leaking out while stress keeps pouring in. I normally keep work out of this, but let me just say that, as a non-profit worker in administration the end of the year brings LOTS of tax work. And our main event for the year is in March, so about the time the taxes calm down, the advertising and people wrangling ramps up. 

In short: I'm so ready for the vacation I have scheduled for April.

Wrangling two customer service organizations, a handyman, and emergency computer support is slowly unraveling my brain. But it's the end of my workweek, and boy am I ready for a break. Last week? Silence and not much work. This week? Yeesh. But I do need to feel needed from day to day. And I am.

A Good Thing I noticed recently is that I can drive into tight-ish parking spots and manage to wriggle out without endangering other cars! This is an awesome development!  On that good news, despite sabotaging myself food wise and only sporadically walking, I managed to lose weight over this week. Maybe paying less attention to what I am eating can cause acceptable results. This is counter to my wiring of tracking everything during the day. Now I know I have a little wiggle room and still can have the desired results. I like that.

This is the pup pre-winter

The dog is still healing, but he wants to play tug sooo bad. That is one thing that he may no longer be able to do. I need to call the vet tomorrow and give her an update on his condition. He even isn't being overly sore when getting up from a dead sleep and he is managing stairs as well as he was pre-injury (read: gimpily because of lack of ligaments in his back legs.). Looks like he may be able to jump onto Dad's lap sometime in the near future. Dog and Dad are in a game of seeing who can block/bypass an attempted leap onto the chair. Dog still hasn't figured out that it isn't allowed because he occasionally wins the game and ends up with a lap. Variable wins equal good conditioning.

But now I think I have other things to do, much as I would rather just sit and slouch. But I'll do the necessary thing.

What We Do for Our Pets

What do we do? Torture them, of course. Or at least they think that is what we are doing. Why?

Dog +Hole = Broken Dog

The elusive pupper blep

What did he do? Let's start out by saying that he loves to dig holes to stay cool during the summer like a little bed. I haven't filled in the main hole in the middle of my parents' yard, which was a problem. The dog charged out the back door to catch a bird invading his domain and faceplanted directly into the hole. From then on he was lame, not wanting to put any pressure on his front leg. After a while of him not getting better, I took him to the vet. 

Link is none too fond of going to the vet, but I think that is because of all the wrong smells since he is a perfect angel for the vets and techs, even when he is scared and in pain. He's a good boy. There he had an x-ray and found the problem: spondylosis deformans, or bone spurs connecting vertebra where no bone should be. It happens in most dogs as they age, and Link is now 10 so he counts (and has two more fusions already). Well, when he dove into his hole he broke one of those connections loose between his shoulders, hence the lameness in his leg. He simply didn't want to put pressure on a painful spot on his spine rather than a leg or shoulder problem. 

With that knowledge we were able to come up with a plan: hit it with anti-inflammatories until it calms down and hope that the other two spots of spur connections behave themselves. It also meant that all things hoppable, like couches, recliners (well, laps), or non-ramp car exits are all out. Which makes Link sad. Especially the no-lap rule since his favorite spot in the world is on Dad's lap on the recliner. He spent a week and a half challenging Dad to a game of you-can't-stop-me where he would leap onto the lap when Dad was least expecting of the incoming dog and didn't have time to stop said pooch.

The rest and recouperation over two weeks didn't completely solve the problem since he is still really tender and has trouble getting up in the morning. Since the pain meds wore out on Wednesday, I called the vet and they prescribed me more meds with an order to call in two weeks to see how he's doing. We are hoping that the joint calms down and he heals up well, but if if not he can stay on meds for as long as he needs to stay comfortable. I do believe that his many-hour hikes are out of the question, especially for the next couple months. (Not that I really want to be out in the cold or really exercising outside at all, but I can tell myself that he is my excuse.) It also means that I am going to restrict his access to stairs during the day since he likes making several trips up and down for no good reason at my parents' house. At night he stays by either Dad or myself, so it isn't really an issue then. I just need to make sure he can peep at me (like a bird) if he needs to go out in the middle of the night.

New regimen: vitamin E and fish oil long-term and pain meds for a while to keep him comfortable. But perhaps not so comfortable as to have him reinjure himself!

I love my pooch. Link is very much a Good Boy. My Good Boy.

The Day We Turned in the Tumor Fryer

I bring you: The tumor fryer. 

What was this gadget? Well, now it's called Optune, but was very much in clinical trials when Jason was frying. A set of four electromagnetic pads stuck to the head that wiggled and jiggled the electromagnetic fields where appropriate to try to keep the tumor from growing. This was the day we returned the device.

Today ten years ago we decided that it was time to stop. To stop not only the hail-Mary tumor fryer, but also all other active treatments. We were admitting defeat. We were acknowledging that treatment needed to shift from living as long as possible to living as comfortably as possible. 

At that point, three days from Christmas, we gave back the fryer and decided to see all the family we possible could over the holidays. And see we did! It was a bittersweet holiday, but we did get to see most of our family while Jason was still 'him' instead of what steroids did later. 

And it's been ten years. Huh. I can't believe it's been that long. I've healed a lot since then. Though there are raw days. Today has been... Difficult. I was mostly useless at work, though I didn't tell my boss why. He is probably assuming it is because I'm still a little sick still from over the weekend. Given that the chest cold knocked me out from last Wednesday up until Tuesday, that's probably partly true. Still fighting that cough. (And I may have gotten Dad sick too. Dangit. Let's see if I managed to share with Mom as well.)

But today I'm going to giggle about explaining that piece of tech to everyone from people with medical degrees on down to tiny kids curious why my man had that not-quite-tin-foil hat on. And explaining why I was schlepping fifty pounds of batteries through TSA.

The "Meh" Phenomenon

It's been a month since last on here. Welcome back!

I've been watching lots of YouTube videos on many different topics. I realized that some days left me down and just sort of, as my late husband would say, "Meh." Others had me happy and (sort of) full of energy. All because of what I was watching. Or what the weather is doing. Like now, when its cloudy, grey, and chilly, I want to wrap up in a blanket and drink tea/nap. Not both at the same time, please. So now I am trying to mix up my watching, especially at night when I have massive trouble not eating my way through till bedtime. We'll see how it works.

Not My Mix. Not My Egg. Not My Pic.

I made a cake. From a mix. And messed it up. Duncan Hines Keto mix. I halved the mix, the eggs, and (part of) the water. But not the butter--I could only pour out some of the extra water when I realized my mistake. It was a mess. A tasty mess, but not worth it foodwise. All told, Meh. The frosting, also Duncan Hines and impossible to screw up since it was canned, was tasty but had a very shortening feel to it. I can use it for something else assuming I don't eat it with a spoon because that's what frosting is for, even when described as Meh.

I keep losing weight, slowly and steadily. Slower than I would like, but that is probably a good thing since that would mean that I'm causing more problems than I solve over the long run. So close to 70 pounds down! Two pounds to be exact. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. Which I do. Though there is one problem: I'm not exercising. Only I can fix that. And I do. Rarely. So it goes. My opinion tonight about actually getting off the couch? Meh.

The dog could use some exercise as well to get muscle tone...and rein in his behavior. That little son of a ***** decided that it would be a good idea to growl at Mom. She took away the item being growled over then made him wait to get it back. Well done, but I don't want to have that happen again. So I've been requiring him to work through small things before he gets anything. Not a lap. Not treat food. He doesn't care about his regular food at all, so I don't make him sit from another room. I am hoping that little bits take down his ego. That and repeatedly taking away and giving back high-value treats. "Come" is starting to work better as well, even in a just few days. Whistles are still doing nothing, unlike a month ago when he knew what they meant (show me where you are, get over here eventually). Meh, he will get it again with repetition.