Guided by Graffiti

Follow the Wisdom

On a walk in town I came upon these words of wisdom. Difficult follow when all I want to do is complain. But it's okay, I can still moan and groan while still being thankful for what I have, and that truly is the definition of happy: thankfulness. Both for the pleasant and not-so-pleasant times. I'm not saying that I'm good at it, only that it is my ideal.

Having said that, I am finding it difficult to be truly happy right now. The uncertainty of life is wearing on me. Thanks to two medical issues, I am a little on the twitchy side of things. COVID-19 is...well...COVID-19. Knowing that there is yet another variant on the way means that I once again need to rethink my healthy habits that I have let slip after my third vaccine shot. Mentally it is all wearing on me. But it could be so much worse. So very much worse. And for that, I am happy. I have my needs met. I have a job I love. I have family that loves me (including the dog, even if I want to strangle them sometimes). And I have friends that put up with my hermit ways. So yeah, even with the flaws in life, I am pretty darn happy.

So follow the words on the wall and take a small bit of time to be thankful.

 

All Good Memories

One of the Good Memories

I have had a busy day, but memories keep surfacing of Jason's journey with cancer. Like the sound of a Bearhawk overhead taking me back to when Jason and I flew in various personal planes out to San Francisco. The smell and taste of English breakfast tea and milk, just like at that San Francisco bed and breakfast we spent so much time at. The fleeting memories of foods cooked at the annual Not-Yet-Dead parties (that bacon-wrapped sausage loaf from the first party came to mind). Using the paddle shifters in my car and remembering when we first brough Li'l Blue, the new car, down from Seattle in a road trip.

All good memories. 

It's nice to be able to think back and not have instant thoughts of what was bad about our journey together. Oh, don't get me wrong, the bad is right there behind the good. But that's just it. It is Behind the good, not up front. And there was so much good to dwell on, whether it be before we knew about the cancer or even in his last days and all the sorrow that came with it. I can now sift through the floating memories and pull bits and pieces out--but only with the help of sights, sounds, tastes, and smells. At least I can get to some of the memories, no matter how deep they may be.

Of Sunsets and Poundage

I snagged this photo out on the mesa, but I was just about five minutes too late for the real light show. I'm still glad that I pulled over and snagged the shot before continuing on my way. It is little things like stopping to photograph the sunset that mean a lot to me.

As of the last post I was 201ish pounds. But that has changed. I am officially in the 100s! 198 lbs to be exact. It feels strange to type it starting with a 1 after so long at 2s. It is just a number, but it means a great deal to me since I know that I am making progress. Also I am starting to fit into other clothes that have been languishing in my closet (well...really either on the floor or stuffed into the closet). It only took me three weeks, but I made it and then some, with some up and down to get to where I am. Keeping up on the food and exercise without overdoing it seems to be working for the moment.

On that note, I have kept up my exercising for the most part, with another trip out to the volcanos on Monday. I do love me my hikes! I was out of commission for the past two days thanks to another attack of some type in my innards. I see the doc next Wednesday, which is ridiculously quick to see a specialist--go go gadget wait list! It will be interesting to see if anything comes of it. Luckily my boss is allowing me to use the work computer to do the virtual appointment, since it will only take 20 minutes or so. Nice boss. Awesome boss in fact.

So now I am taking my belated lunch and break to scribble this down and to map out my grocery list for tonight. Time to get on that sale flier.