If I Don't Kill It One Way...

 ...then I can sure find another way. On accident. 

I have been weed whacking around what I thought was a sunflower since the beginning of the season. It was just a hunch, but I have grown them before so I had a pretty good idea of what it was. I kept working around it, very carefully making sure to leave it space. I came back to the house after vacation and did my whacking just like before. Buried in the weeds was this pretty baby.

As seen from its original state

After I had all the yard beaten into submission I went back over to take a couple photos of my pet plant. And promptly dropped the weed whacker onto the plant. Flat out smooshed it to the ground and broke the stem. There was some cussing. But then I thought better about it. Why leave it unappreciated outside when I can take it inside and enjoy it for the life of the blooms! So I now give you my pet in its second life.

Because I can

I spent the last week of vacation convalescing with a cold. It was actually a good time to do it since I couldn't go out hiking like I normally do on vacations and I don't like dealing with the people of downtown Ruidoso. I go on vacation to places without people. Specifically, I go to places with trees and without people. This last one and its creek was ideal. I spent much of the time when I felt okay just sitting out by the creek and putzing on my laptop or phone.  I hooked up my Switch to play Zelda on the tv. I didn't even read because my brain was having trouble reading text on a page. My book remains mostly uncracked, despite having been on vacation. Heck, it even rained a couple times so I could just listen to the drops on the roof and the trees while I did absolutely nothing.

My rental host was worried about me and checked in on me to see if he could be of help. He even brought down some grilled hamburgers and fixings for me one night so I didn't have to cook. We talked back and forth and swapped stories on occasion, but he wasn't intrusive, just a good guy. He was awesome. For the most part, I bounced between the creek and the sofa bench in the trailer, followed by the bed with a pile of pillows. I was still on my crutches for a short time over the week, but the enforced downtime meant that I have been healing up better than I would have if I was home so I am completely off of them. (And 'downtime' is saying something since I can really be a sloth at my house.) I spent the week healing, in so many ways.

Now that I am back in the land of normal life I am decompressing from vacation mode and back into a place where I can be useful and keep up with things that just need done, want to or not. Weeds whacked. House vacuumed. And I'm still exhausted and have the cough, but nowhere near how I was the last week. I'll continue to heal. Reintegrate into society again. If I have to. I guess.

River? Creek? All mine.

Today marks the first day out at vacation in South-ish East-ish New Mexico near Ruidoso. And boy am I completely pooped and out of spoons for the time being.

Yesterday was my first whole day without that CAM moonboot thing. I've been on and off of crutches since then, using them when my foot/knees act up and then ignoring them until I need them again. I way overdid myself yesterday and paid for it today, where I also overdid myself but not to the same extent. My grand intention of leaving early and heading out to a historic site was waylaid by the need for sleep and not moving. Which was fine since, as it turns out, most of the area is not open to dogs. So it all worked out well.

I headed out for the new spot and got here around 3. I was met by a couple interested pooches and a nice gentleman who is the owner of the property. All told there were four poochies. One giant round great Dane that is completely blind was quite the surprise. After a quick overview of he property and the bells and whistles we got to introduce Link to the others. The three females who had all their faculties went well. The big beast who investigates by leaning on things? Not acceptable to Link. I stopped their introduction at a raised lip from Link. He was wearing his prong collar today as well because I was putting up with none of this shite while on crutches, let alone when dealing with other animals.

Of which there are many.

A small flock of chickens, two burrows, one goat, five horses, a rehabilitating hawk, four dogs, and a turkey. Oh, and the two raccoons in a trap waiting to be transported Far From Here. Beats a skunk in the trap.

There's also a creek/river. It would be a creek most places not-here. But it does have quite a bit more water in it than the Rio Not-So-Grande that I passed over earlier today, so I dub it a river. It has a name and everything. Not that I remember the name, but it does have one. There's even a little seating area that the owner set up for me, all mowed and everything! Note that the image does not give a good picture of the water: About five feet wide bank to bank.

Creek? River?

The location is right on the edge of an area that got burned out via forest fire about nine years ago. Took out the owner's buildings, but left most of the area around the river and surrounding non-pine trees. It is under those trees that I am currently sprawled out on a couch and typing. It is a travel trailer of pretty good size with all the amenities of home minus a tub. And a teakettle, but I'll be remedying that later. Everything else is great. Nice people. He even took in all my bags and Link's kennel so I didn't have to deal with losing spoons there. There was even a brand new Link-sized dog bed laid out and ready. Link got to be the first one to use it and get his fur all over (though I did brush him yesterday to get some of the fuzz off).

So now I am recharging the body-batteries and listening to the fan and hummingbirds flitting about and chittering. Not too bad of a way to spend an evening. Though I really need to go get groceries tomorrow if I know what is good for me since I only brought enough for a couple days plus sundries. And I need to pick up a kettle since there is no good way of making tea here and that just won't do. The coffee maker just doesn't cut it. 

So what do you think? Does a 5 ft wide foot deep body of flowing water count as a creek or river?

When Life Breaks, Fix It!

I fancy myself a little bit of a Jill-of-All-Trades. Plumbing is not one of those trades. Yesterday I found myself washing dishes and heard the distressing sound of water falling On things rather than Through pipes. What I saw when I opened the door was a soaked cabinet with almost all of its contents drenched. Now, it being a sink cabinet, hardly anything minded being doused, and a good half of it was nestled safely in the languishing dish rack I keep down there and not on the soaked cabinet floor. But I’m still on crutch/es and a big ol’ boot that restricts my movement and grace (what I have, that is). So, I emptied the cabinet and made sure everything was either wiped down or where it could dry before assessing the situation. There was evidence of where my lone mouse had set up shop many years ago along with a small trail of ants that had managed to survive the great culling from earlier this year. I didn’t clean the base of the cabinet because I was just out of spoons and my knees were killing me.

Lo and behold, the elbow pipe that connected to the sink drain had come loose.

Now I’m NOT a plumber. I can do some basics, but PVC piping is not one of them. Not a smidge. So, I put out a call on Facebook in distress on how to fix this when it was a Sunday, and no hardware stores were open. As it turned out, my loving brother-of-awesomeness helped me through the (two minute) fix. That was it. Two minutes. Maybe three if you count the creaking and cussing of me trying to get down to the sink level and back up again. And now everything is drying out completely for the next couple weekends before I jump the gun and end up with mold in there from putting things back on damp wood. No thank you. At least it was not a long-term leak with mold galore down there. I’ve had that happen in other houses and, man, is that a mess. And that was my plumbing crisis, lots of cussing and fretting all for a quick fix. I’ll take it.

And then there was the rest of the weekend, and fallout from the brain rollercoaster and body twisting while dealing with the sink.

I can get dumb and destructive. I stress. I hurt. I eat. Add in some sleepiness without tiredness and you have a masterclass recipe for self-destructive behavior. Such things as eating too much and sleeping too much or too little—or in my case going to bed way too late and waking up too late despite needing a regular schedule to stay something approaching sane. Heck, I threw caution to the wind and decided that it would be a good idea last week to just use the damnable CAM boot alone with no crutch at all for a day. Dumb AND destructive. I wondered why last Friday I still hurt when putting full pressure on the foot instead of blaming the sheer stupidity and lack of following directions. I focused on being good this weekend after that brief foray into dumb, with the exception of an unplanned house repair job. And it has been this way for a while.

But the rest of the ingredients from that recipe are still there and making life difficult for focusing on anything. Like I have probably said before, there is only so much willpower available for one person. When there is too much there to deal with, something—and probably several things—has to give. In this case it is eating (and general use, but that is a given with me as the first thing to go).

As some of you know, I’m following a keto diet and its been good for me and my health when I actually follow it, if nothing else than it keeps me out of the sweet treats. Yes, I know the drawbacks, and yes, I am willing to deal with them and stay with this long term. When I am at least staying on track carb-wise I don’t gain weight. I may not lose, but I don’t gain like I did earlier in the year and then have to take it all back off.  And I know how to do this. I stopped tracking what I ate a month ago. I didn’t always religiously track (though it does work better if I do), just so I could look back on earlier in the day and realize that I had in fact had enough food. I think it is time to get on that tracking train again since this stagnation is getting old. But I have been staying on the low carb aspect pretty darn well while not neglecting good things like veggies and fruits. And that is fine, but I am eating far too much. Only I can do something about that. I’m not sure I’m ready to act because I’m not sure I have the energy to do much more than make a valiant week-long effort followed by a spectacular and disheartening defeat. Been there. Done that. And right now I’m just holding on. 

I did a good thing for myself and went ahead with my platelet donation today at the cost of not being able to use one crutch—but I always feel better mentally afterward. (Call it a form of unintended self-sabotage as well.) And I just need to hold on for four days. Then a vacation starts that will hopefully be low-stress and easy on both the budget and waistline. Both things will require that oh-so-precious willpower and that may or may not break the spoon bank. Especially when physically taxed and already going into this mentally taxed. We shall see. Wish me luck!

Thinkin' Drinkin' (Tea) AKA More Memories

I have been doing some thinkin' drinkin' in the form of copious amounts of tea, hoping that the caffeine will keep me running smoothly. Which it mostly is. I do keep the purveyors of my addiction running with my support!

Volunteer Hollyhock

While contemplating the bottom of my mug and listening to the sounds of my tea kettle I mulled over the feelings I am getting from using the crutches that have mostly sat ignored in my shop since back in 2014ish. They only have had short one or two day stints out of their place. But they're there for when I need them. So why is this part of the thinkin' drinkin'? Because Jason was the one that convinced me to finally give in and admit that using two canes and ending up on the ground was just not acceptable anymore. Way back in 2010 (I had to look back to find out when it was) I was pretty much on them 24/7 except for short jaunts around the house. Every day. For three + years. I was darned and determined that I didn't want anything unless it was quiet and easy to use. It took him researching and me evaluating many different styles and we finally settled on one brand (SideStix for the record). Not cheap, but comfortable to use, durable, QUIET, and stylish to boot. 

And now they remind me of him. Why do simple sticks remind me so much of my late husband? They are just tools. Very useful and comfortable tools, mind you, but still tools. The answer: because I remember how long he researched what I needed, even when I didn't want to admit that I needed them. (It was that or a wheelchair, which I had already vetoed as much as possible because I couldn't get around the house in one)

So now I am dealing with a torrent of emotions from many different angles. And fighting a boot. And remembering just how many muscles crutches require--and how neglected my muscles have been as of late. I apparently have not forgotten how to walk with them, even after all these years. And they're not the blasted 'regular' crutches that people get here in the states, despite them being less stable and clunkier than anything else out there. I learned early on that the doc's 'suggestion' that I use and stay on crutches was well founded. I asked for more clarification while getting strapped into the device and he told me that, while I technically can walk on just the foot, it is a pointedly bad idea and would probably cause more problems to both sides of my body. Use the crutches. Keep it up. Heal better. Have to do it less in the future if it happens again. I like my doc. I can follow orders if it means that I don't have to do this again any time soon (or preferably ever!).

And I've got another week and a smidge in the boot and another two weeks using one or both crutches for another two weeks. I wonder how well Link will walk with me on crutches...he used to do it well. It will be interesting to find out! And by the end of it we both will come to an agreement. Not sure who will win out in this, but it will be attempted!

Boot. Not appreciated.

I hate going shoe shopping. Usually it involves great frustration and a large chunk of change. Not lately. I've been in a couple pairs of hiking boots and special insoles for the past...many many moons. I have been having trouble with my foot for a long time. It wasn't getting better with all the doc's suggestions. So I went back, complete with new x-rays. I have a ton of small fractures in three metatarsals. His suggestion: a boot for 14 days. I am not amused. But it does keep my foot from flexing as painfully. At least it is on my left foot so I can still drive! I asked since I had a cane if that would help with my balance on the blasted boot. Doc said yes, so one of my beloved/hated devices is getting some use. And it's only two weeks.

Just after those two weeks I have a vacation planned. A vacation where I was hoping that I could get out and go hiking, since there are lots of nearby trails, both hard and easy. I may still do one of the easy one for short hikes to get me back into moving and to get the dog tired a bit. Probably not a good idea. So it goes. I may end up eating my way through the town. Not good for my figure.

Not. Amused

On that, I have gained ten pounds over the last three months and I am not amused. I am the only one to blame, but I am getting depressed because of that and a host of other happenings. I tried to blame my feet on my weight, but the doc reminded me that I have gotten this AFTER I lost a bunch of weight. Yes, it can be made worse with extra weight, but that is not a likely cause. The RA is (and some congenital issues). The gift that keeps on giving. 

And to add to the fun, I am losing my Medicaid. This is a problem. I cannot afford my meds and specialists on other plans. The state flubbed a calculation, so there is a hope for me. I re-applied today. My current coverage ends the 31st. They said that it can take 45 days to get back to me. This is not ideal. Not ideal at all. So I have done what I can. I am in a waiting period where all I can do now is fret and stew. Same with the foot. Fret, stew, and cuss. Other things, fret, stew, cuss, and cry.

So now I am rather insane. I have done what I can to rectify situations I have control over. Other things just...suck. I'm crying again for small infractions. Including in the doc's office, which completely confused the doc and PA in the room. Wonderful PA grabbed me a tissue and assured me that it was okay. I need to remind myself that it is okay for me to deal with emotions, whatever those are. 

So now I am going to let the world go by and play some Zelda--Tears of the Kingdom on the big screen. Putting cartoon Link always makes me feel better...well...unless I am repeatedly getting slain.