What We Do for Our Pets

What do we do? Torture them, of course. Or at least they think that is what we are doing. Why?

Dog +Hole = Broken Dog

The elusive pupper blep

What did he do? Let's start out by saying that he loves to dig holes to stay cool during the summer like a little bed. I haven't filled in the main hole in the middle of my parents' yard, which was a problem. The dog charged out the back door to catch a bird invading his domain and faceplanted directly into the hole. From then on he was lame, not wanting to put any pressure on his front leg. After a while of him not getting better, I took him to the vet. 

Link is none too fond of going to the vet, but I think that is because of all the wrong smells since he is a perfect angel for the vets and techs, even when he is scared and in pain. He's a good boy. There he had an x-ray and found the problem: spondylosis deformans, or bone spurs connecting vertebra where no bone should be. It happens in most dogs as they age, and Link is now 10 so he counts (and has two more fusions already). Well, when he dove into his hole he broke one of those connections loose between his shoulders, hence the lameness in his leg. He simply didn't want to put pressure on a painful spot on his spine rather than a leg or shoulder problem. 

With that knowledge we were able to come up with a plan: hit it with anti-inflammatories until it calms down and hope that the other two spots of spur connections behave themselves. It also meant that all things hoppable, like couches, recliners (well, laps), or non-ramp car exits are all out. Which makes Link sad. Especially the no-lap rule since his favorite spot in the world is on Dad's lap on the recliner. He spent a week and a half challenging Dad to a game of you-can't-stop-me where he would leap onto the lap when Dad was least expecting of the incoming dog and didn't have time to stop said pooch.

The rest and recouperation over two weeks didn't completely solve the problem since he is still really tender and has trouble getting up in the morning. Since the pain meds wore out on Wednesday, I called the vet and they prescribed me more meds with an order to call in two weeks to see how he's doing. We are hoping that the joint calms down and he heals up well, but if if not he can stay on meds for as long as he needs to stay comfortable. I do believe that his many-hour hikes are out of the question, especially for the next couple months. (Not that I really want to be out in the cold or really exercising outside at all, but I can tell myself that he is my excuse.) It also means that I am going to restrict his access to stairs during the day since he likes making several trips up and down for no good reason at my parents' house. At night he stays by either Dad or myself, so it isn't really an issue then. I just need to make sure he can peep at me (like a bird) if he needs to go out in the middle of the night.

New regimen: vitamin E and fish oil long-term and pain meds for a while to keep him comfortable. But perhaps not so comfortable as to have him reinjure himself!

I love my pooch. Link is very much a Good Boy. My Good Boy.

The Day We Turned in the Tumor Fryer

I bring you: The tumor fryer. 

What was this gadget? Well, now it's called Optune, but was very much in clinical trials when Jason was frying. A set of four electromagnetic pads stuck to the head that wiggled and jiggled the electromagnetic fields where appropriate to try to keep the tumor from growing. This was the day we returned the device.

Today ten years ago we decided that it was time to stop. To stop not only the hail-Mary tumor fryer, but also all other active treatments. We were admitting defeat. We were acknowledging that treatment needed to shift from living as long as possible to living as comfortably as possible. 

At that point, three days from Christmas, we gave back the fryer and decided to see all the family we possible could over the holidays. And see we did! It was a bittersweet holiday, but we did get to see most of our family while Jason was still 'him' instead of what steroids did later. 

And it's been ten years. Huh. I can't believe it's been that long. I've healed a lot since then. Though there are raw days. Today has been... Difficult. I was mostly useless at work, though I didn't tell my boss why. He is probably assuming it is because I'm still a little sick still from over the weekend. Given that the chest cold knocked me out from last Wednesday up until Tuesday, that's probably partly true. Still fighting that cough. (And I may have gotten Dad sick too. Dangit. Let's see if I managed to share with Mom as well.)

But today I'm going to giggle about explaining that piece of tech to everyone from people with medical degrees on down to tiny kids curious why my man had that not-quite-tin-foil hat on. And explaining why I was schlepping fifty pounds of batteries through TSA.

The "Meh" Phenomenon

It's been a month since last on here. Welcome back!

I've been watching lots of YouTube videos on many different topics. I realized that some days left me down and just sort of, as my late husband would say, "Meh." Others had me happy and (sort of) full of energy. All because of what I was watching. Or what the weather is doing. Like now, when its cloudy, grey, and chilly, I want to wrap up in a blanket and drink tea/nap. Not both at the same time, please. So now I am trying to mix up my watching, especially at night when I have massive trouble not eating my way through till bedtime. We'll see how it works.

Not My Mix. Not My Egg. Not My Pic.

I made a cake. From a mix. And messed it up. Duncan Hines Keto mix. I halved the mix, the eggs, and (part of) the water. But not the butter--I could only pour out some of the extra water when I realized my mistake. It was a mess. A tasty mess, but not worth it foodwise. All told, Meh. The frosting, also Duncan Hines and impossible to screw up since it was canned, was tasty but had a very shortening feel to it. I can use it for something else assuming I don't eat it with a spoon because that's what frosting is for, even when described as Meh.

I keep losing weight, slowly and steadily. Slower than I would like, but that is probably a good thing since that would mean that I'm causing more problems than I solve over the long run. So close to 70 pounds down! Two pounds to be exact. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. Which I do. Though there is one problem: I'm not exercising. Only I can fix that. And I do. Rarely. So it goes. My opinion tonight about actually getting off the couch? Meh.

The dog could use some exercise as well to get muscle tone...and rein in his behavior. That little son of a ***** decided that it would be a good idea to growl at Mom. She took away the item being growled over then made him wait to get it back. Well done, but I don't want to have that happen again. So I've been requiring him to work through small things before he gets anything. Not a lap. Not treat food. He doesn't care about his regular food at all, so I don't make him sit from another room. I am hoping that little bits take down his ego. That and repeatedly taking away and giving back high-value treats. "Come" is starting to work better as well, even in a just few days. Whistles are still doing nothing, unlike a month ago when he knew what they meant (show me where you are, get over here eventually). Meh, he will get it again with repetition. 

So it's Fall. And Poly-Ticks season.

Almost a month since last posting. Lots of work drama going on, but that's not for here. 

I've been in and out of a good mindset since I started my vacation at the beginning of the month. Finally seeing the light from that and looking forward to seeing more light in the morning come the DST change next weekend. Soooo much easier than the spring version of the jet-lag the nation goes through (well...most of us).

I guess that it is officially fall since the low temperatures are only in the 30s now. I even had to wear a jacket! Gasp! All the pumpkin spice stuff being off limits makes my splurge food a lot easier. I do miss those supermarket pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, though. I do have to admit that I have a pumpkin pie (keto) recipe that I have my eyes on. And creme brulee too. But I haven't really cooked since starting this thing, knowing full well that I have a hard time ignoring sweets and baked goods in the best of times. Not baking is the same thing as not buying 'keto' bread since I know I will devour whatever it is. So I am reluctant to try out the new goodies. May try that bread to see if I can control myself with it and see if I trust myself for even more tantalizing treats. But what I'm doing is working, so I don't want to screw it up.

Backstory: in July I had a shot to the foot for plantar fasciitis that I had been nursing unsuccessfully since the beginning of the year. Well, it came back. I tried to tough it out for a month and it rapidly deteriorated. Once I finally convinced myself that it wasn't going away I got back into the doc. Another shot later and I am well on my way again! With orders to come back as soon as it starts up again, if it does. Plantar faciitis: 100% do not recommend. But if I can get back to my walking I will be much healthier than just losing weight as I am. I miss walking and hiking on a regular basis. Just have to get my rear off the couch now! (And keep yelling at Pro-Form since their damn software is bricking my treadmill. Again.)

I've been watching a lot of YouTube lately. Mostly educational titles, with a few random things added in there for good measure. I've been noticing that 90% of the ads for the programs are political. At least 90%. I already voted! There should be a button that says that I'm no longer their prime target and to spend their money elsewhere. But that wouldn't work, I suppose. I'm so tired of hearing people bash each other with half-truths or whole-lies at every possible turn. But it's going to be over shortly. Not soon enough for my liking! Unfortunately, once again, I sometimes had to choose between the lesser of two (we)evils. But I guess that unless I step up to the political plate, which I will NOT do, I can't expect any candidate to fit my wishes completely. (By the by, the other 10% is mostly comprised of religious propaganda due to the atheist topic of one of my shows. Everyone wants something from me.)

Uphill Both Ways

I decided that today was going to be an adventure day in the hopes that by Tuesday I can repeat without feeling dead and able to go farther on the trail.

Since it has been raining I decided to go on the well-maintained trail just ten miles down from the cabin. Dog and I geared up (only a leash on his end of the packing) with my Camelbak and goodies in there. Then we headed out. Finding the trail was pretty easy courtesy of a pre-loaded map on with the help of Google. Nobody there and it didn't look too used, but the trail was clear with a rocky base. I was really glad to be in real hiking boots for this trail, but that is what I usually wear, so I was already set to deal with uneven terrain.

The View from the Top (one top at least)

Up we went. And more up. By the time I reached the top (or one of the tops) of my hike I was fairly tired, but I wanted to go further. about a quarter mile down the trail I noticed Link starting to act stiff and sore, which was just no good. That was about where it was a good time for me to turn around as well, as my knees were starting to be vocal and we still had to get back to the car. So back we went. It was quicker back down the other side of the hill, but I hate downhill walking since it is harder on knees than going up. We didn't make it to the mile-and-a-half mark. Not even close. I want to hit that next time when it shout be cooler, though there is no guarantee about that.

An hour after starting we were both back down and headed back to the cabin. In which I had to backtrack THREE TIMES to get to the turnoff for the cabin. Normally I just can reorient myself to have no troubles finding my way back home. Apparently I was tired enough today that I just couldn't do it.

Now it is thundering and sometimes spitting rain, which was nice to sit on the front porch for a while. I am glad that my hikes are all in the morning since I don't want to deal with getting rained on. And boy has the temperature dropped with the rain! Time to turn on the furnace and warm up the room a bit as I indulge in a little bit of Switch Zelda..

Of Thunder and Woods

 As of today I am on vacation. Away from work (for the most part) and cell coverage--though I do have text and internet. One must be aware of necessary comforts, especially when on call for work to a certain degree.

The cabin is wonderful, and smaller than I expected from looking at the images on the advert. Small makes me happy, though the stairs are going to kill me whether through their angle or the 2" risers on the landings. It's cozy.

I am going to have to keep an eye on the weather while I am out here. Rain and storms are supposed to be out every day in the afternoon, much to the dislike of the pooch. Tonight's storm included a strike that shook the house and cut the power. I, of course, have my handy dandy portable surge protector so my laptop does not get fried. I have had a frizzled hard drive once before when a transformer went poof. Only once.

My plans, should it not be too muddy, is to go out to the "Walk in the Past Trailhead" just ten miles from the cabin. I am hoping that it is nice, since my other two options are going to be off limits due to the monsoon rains. We shall see what it's like tomorrow. But now it is time to make sure the gear is all set and ready to go. And to watch some YouTube. It's too bad it's too wet for a fire in the handy pit out front. But that's okay. It's a change of place...er...pace.

Link, of course, had to christen all the trees

Rearin' to Go!

I still have nine days to go before I get out to my cabin in the woods. A lifetime in my brain. As I had some downtime today, I have been searching for hikes in the area outside of just the mesa out behind the cabin. I found three possibilities, taken down to two if there is any threat of rain at all as that last one is along a streambed (not likely to be on my docket). I'm really out of practice--as in no real exercise since the end of last year. I'm going to have to take it easy, at least until I can get a gage for how much endurance my body has lost.

As per usual, I am planning on making my vacation food-limiting to keep myself honest and on my nutrition. I have to make sure that I take extra, of course, just in case something happens, but I can make that something I would rather not eat on a whim. Unlike when I was near Ruidoso, I can't easily hop down to the well-stocked grocery store for midnight munchies! The closest tiny market is about 20 miles south of me--did I mention tiny? Not a terrible drive, but a definite encouragement to stick to home, with the exception of when I go south for hiking. Besides, being on this whole keto thing can make spur-of-the-moment munchies rather difficult. I think I still have my packing list from my last trip, so this should even be easy to get everything into the car without forgetting too much.

Speaking of that whole eating thing, I am losing around a pound a week pretty steadily now. If I average out from where I started to this week, it is almost exactly one a week. Not too darn shabby, if not how fast I was hoping for. I consider it consistent and safe at that. 203 right now, and on my way back down to where I was pre-plantar-fasciitis in January (194 if I recall correctly)

I'm not sure what is going to happen at work while I'm gone, but I'm sure they'll manage. Only my boss is allowed to call me on my vacation, and even then it had better be good. I'm planning on two calls over the week-ish time I'm there. Only time will tell.

On a completely different note: I have started a new book! A sequel to the monster-slaying fantasy book. I guess that it is time for me to get off my rear and just publish my first on Kindle and start some advertising somehow. The second one is being read (and boy is it more polished than the first one.) Completely different genre, but I learned a lot from the first one. The sequel is a good thing for me to keep busy, even if it never turns into a fully fledged book. already 8,000ish words in three sessions of typing. I am having fun coming up with ideas for monsters--and tapping my friends' brains for new monsters as well. But it is a great diversion to get me out of the house. It will also be something good to get me relaxed while out at the cabin. Writing just feels good.

But I guess that my break time is over and it is time to get back to that paying job instead of digital scribbles.

Family Fun!

Yesterday my brother-in-law and aunt came in for a quick visit on their monster road trip across the US. It has been years since I saw my brother, and it was great to finally get to catch up after...8 years? 11? It may have been since Jason died that I had seen him. But we caught up quickly and hung out for the night. My aunt, who is the official chauffeuse for the trip, I had seen last year, so we were more up to date. Dog had to sit in his crate for a few minutes before he would calm down enough to just want to play instead of eating anyone. Then he wanted to play. All the time. And I took away his toys--gasp! I know. Mean Mom. I ended up having to call him off and make him lay down and pout instead. He 100% did not approve.

On an interesting note, Jason's grave is being lived in, and it's not by him.

This is his grave as of yesterday. Ventilated. The cross fell down a while ago and I figured that the wind would just take it down again, so I rested it appropriately. But the hole? The two and a half by four foot hole? That was new. And it looks like it is being lived in by...something. I think I need to call someone out to dump some dirt in there, evicting anything living in there at the same time. Not was I was expecting.

Last night we went to the New Mexico fixture, the Owl Bar and Grill, for dinner and the burgers have improved greatly since I was last there. Heck, the service was great too, which was its big downfall the last and only time I had gone there. Good dinner, complete with my aunt leaving the obligatory dollar bill with note. Used to be the note was just sharpied onto the bill and posted on the wall, but now they have dedicated slips of paper to make it easier to read...and to take off the wall when it gets too full so you can harvest the bills as real money!

Onto last post's news, my work grandma still doesn't know what is going on since they keep pushing back her tests despite it being a Bad Thing. We are muddling through work without her, but she is sorely missed, and I just flat out miss her!

And now it is the weekend and I have the days to myself. Perhaps to eat out again this afternoon to go out and write on the third book. (Yeah yeah, I know that I haven't done anything with the first two.)

Work and my Adopted Grandma

I don't usually write about work, but something is happening that has me in tears.

Someone at my office, let's call her Grandma, has been there longer than anyone else here. She welcomed me with open arms since day one, even when my predecessor shat all over her. I taught her how to use a computer from "this is a mouse" to "Payroll's done" even with a crippled dominant hand. 

Anyway, she has a serious illness that just came to our attention yesterday. She waited to get help for a large growth because she was afraid of Covid. So she may not be coming back to work because, well, healing's a big deal and work can take a flying flip. I'm worried for her and her family.

On a related note, we need to keep things moving while she's not here, despite having no clue how she ran this ship in occasionally troubled waters. We are wondering how one woman in her 90s was able to stuff so much work into her few hours a week. We've got no clue how things are organized, much less how to do all but the basic tasks.

But the biggie? I have to come to the terms that nobody lives forever, despite wanting them to.

So all my fretting and stewing over the weekend about a reprimand (that never came) was for naught. It was taken over by far more important things. Far more troubling things.

Moral: live life to the fullest. And leave notes on how to run a tight ship. Or at least how to not sink a blow-up dinghy.

Could Have Been Worse

My mental status is often directly correlated to how I see myself and how adversarial I am to myself. Talking down to myself, Should-ing, Could-ing, etc. That occasionally puts a damper on the healthiness of my food. 

Background: Steroids suck. I had to take a high dose taper last week. The mad-raving munchies finally caught up with me over the weekend. I felt it rising for a few days before and I was pleasantly surprised that it hadn't kicked in much earlier--like mood swings in the middle of work.

Now, having said that, steroids still suck. I spend most of the weekend with full-on blast of energy and the alternate of slug napping. The rather unfortunate extra was that I was ready to eat EVERYTHING in the fridge/pantry.   But I didn't.  

Nope, I stayed the course and, while I overate, it wasn't on the things that are (mostly) off limits for consumption in my ideal world. Did I want that thick stack of pancakes? Oh God Yes. But I held it down for the most part. Only threw me off two days instead of what would probably have taken a full week to fix had I gone with the Gee-I-Want It and NEEEED it method of shoving my face into a stack of pancakes. One good thing? All of the things I munched on were already edible in their base form. No cooking needed! 

I'm not happy with the scale, but I know that I am shrinking because my shirts and pants fit better, and when it comes down to it, the last thing that really matters is that scale. Still only rarely exercising (yeah yeah, I need to start weights) on the treadmill, but that is more than I have been since December and pre gallbladder/foot issues.

Now I get to retrain my body to a real sleep/wake cycle after riding out the prednisone. Anyone got a brick? I hear they are good for helping people sleep.

Update on Comcast: The almost didn't fix their ****. I insisted again. TADA! Next up: Dealing with Comcast for work due to a faulty line that they already said they fixed once. I hate Comcast with a fiery burning passion, but their business service seems to go smoother than the residential version.

Tribulus Terrestris and Other Victims of My Rage

Goatheads. Nature's Caltrop. Tribbles. And while they spread like their Star Trek counterparts, these have no redeeming cuteness qualities. 

No. Not this type. Even he won't eat these abominations.

They and their other weedy counterparts fell at my hand last weekend. I succeeded in at least round 1 of the great culling. More will be needed on another weekend, but I put in a good showing with about a half a trash bag of those and the almost-as-vile silver-leafed nightshade with its sharp fine filaments that pass technically as spines. The damn spines made it all the way through my elk-hide gloves! I was...displeased.

It's been dry at my house, like dry enough that the drought-tolerant Russian thistles (still-alive tumble weeds) are having trouble growing. Good for me though, so long as I remember to water the plants that should be there. 

In other news, well...new to some people... Comcast is a pain in the *** to deal with, especially since I got to be on the line with seven (7) different representatives yesterday, only to get disconnected, much like what happened last week. Finally late last night I convinced them to fix their system right this time. Or at least to try. I loathe Comcast with a fiery burning passion, but they do provide a service that is required at the moment. Good friends even perked up a day that Comcast had ruined (never be on with customer service when on steroids).

Now life is good. Lunch has been had. And it should be smooth sailing for the next few hours. Or at least I can hope!

Dad is home so Link is spending most of his time either on Dad's lap or playing ball...or eating. Everything that Dad eats, so does the dog. I had just gotten Link down to a reasonable weight again. Oh well, it makes them both happy!

I'm managing to go the opposite direction from the dog. Still working on it and seeing success, so I will keep up the fight and even introduce exercise again! Slow steps. Lots of support from family, so that makes life much less difficult than it could be. And now lunch is over, so it is time to hang this up for the moment. 

Things are Indeed Happening

Things are happening. Yes. Things. Of various types. 

I am pleased to see that the keto food plan is still working, though there was a week of stubborn-scale syndrome. I can't really complain given the results early on. I'm twelve pounds from where I was at my lowest in December. I should hit that in the next month or two, then on to new territory. 

On that food thing, Mom's joining me through her work program. It is going to be interesting with Dad home, but we will still manage well since everyone knows how to cook. Don't like dinner? Augment what's there or make your own. No biggie. Eggs, tuna, and cheese are frequent flyers in my playbook that require little to no cooking and fit the bill as "safe" food. The big question: Am I willing to set myself back a week for a tasty little/large feast of goodness?

That question comes up because the fresh and homemade cinnamon sticky rolls awaiting my return to the house are going to be a pain in the ass to not eat one after the other. But I can hold strong. Maybe I will be happy with just a half of one! Maybe not. It will be the first willingly munched bread product that I have had in... almost two months? But I am not passing up the goodness... Though now that sounds like it could indeed be an option if I have the will/won't power to stay away despite the siren song of cinnamon wafting throughout the house.

But I digress. I have choices. I will make them as I see fit at the time.

I keep waiting for rain, real soaking rain for the monsoon. But I am left wanting. A spit of rain here, a quick-and-gone downpour with no actual rain soaking in, but nothing of note. That is great news for the mosquito prospects, but lousy for my yard. One good thing is that the dirt is officially too dry for Russian thistles (aka live tumbleweeds) to grow. Goatheads? That puncturevine is evil and doesn't seem to care about the heat. I have next weekend only to get them out of the yard and into the trash can before they release their evil caltrops of doom upon my yard and the dog's feet.

Finally, I'm sad. My vacation in October falls right over my favorite band's concert (Shinedown, for those who would like to know). I already had purchased a ticket to the concert and failed to check it before scheduling my getaway. The ticket won't go unused though. My might-as-well-be niece also loves the band and is happily taking it off my hands. *sniffle* I want to go so bad, but the vacation was a massive deal and I don't want to reschedule it at twice the price. And not being in Albuquerque during the Balloon Fiesta is a grand thing--I loathe that event, but it makes a lot of vendors happy. So I'm happy I have the cabin, but I about cried when I found out about the conflict. Maybe they'll be back next year.

Life is...

Strange. I have a mix of feeling that lead me to believe that I am in a pretty good space right now. That's a scary thought. It's something that I hesitate to type. But I'm going to, since it is a good thing to focus on the good sometimes.

I also found this pretty birdie. Meep! Meep!

I have plantar faciitis. I also have a freaking great podiatrist who is working me through getting rid of the dang problems. Two shots and a pair of crutches to get around and it should be getting better soon. I even had the forearm crutches from long ago when my arthritis was kicking up bad. Going to be able to walk (hopefully) by Monday, once the steroid crystals go away. Healing is a good thing.

My pooch has a (mostly) clean bill of health and clean teeth. The lump on his foot was benign. And, even though he had a seizure while he was under anesthesia, it was not something more serious. Link is even getting most of the time during the day outside of his Cone of Shame! (He's most happy about being able to play ball now.)

It's been a little over four weeks and I have lost 13.5 pounds. That's pretty impressive for someone who is on two meds that can cause weight gain. First week of shedding? Water. After that? Score! I'm focusing on not going overboard so that it is sustainable and safe. 13.5. Huh. After the foot is fixed I can get back into walking again. Maybe strength training, which I haven't done in years!

My 13th anniversary of my wedding was earlier this month. There was some sadness, as is to be expected, but most of it was looking back at a happy time. Five years we had, and most of it was spent well. Good times.

Finally, I have good friends. I may not see them for months at a time, but I still love them.

But now it is time to find something to eat that is healthier than cookies. I have a full pantry and yet don't want to cook. So many things like that to be thankful for. But I really should come up with dinner other than southwest eggs.

An Interesting Month

 A lot has happened in the last few weeks as for how my life is going.

1. I started not only cutting out the cereal and bread, but actually diving into the illustrious keto side of things. Now, I was compelled to do this for several reasons, some of those were better thought through than others. But it's working. Over the last 3-4 weeks I have lost 11 pounds, acknowledging that four-ish of those are water. Not too shabby, if I don't say so myself. 

2. But I am having to monitor my food intake in a way that I wasn't expecting: I'm actually fighting eating too little. At least I am keeping a close eye on just how much caloric intake I have each day in addition to the traditional keto thing of just monitoring the macros of carb/fat/protein. Dropping too much too fast is nothing that I have run into before while not feeling starved all day. So I'm being careful.

Freedom! No Cone of Shame! (momentarily)

3. Then we have the dog, Link. He went in for a tooth cleaning and to get a little black ... something? ... taken off of his paw. I was chilling at the house waiting for the vet to call to pick up the fuzzbutt when a call came in, but not to pick him up. Don't fret. He's mostly fine. I had to leave him there for a while before coming in at the end of the workday. When I picked him up I got to talk to the vet--Link had a short seizure while he was under anesthesia. All worked out fine, but we will need to keep that in mind in any future procedures. 

4. But I broke shortly after that. I worried about what I would have done if the dog hadn't made it through that procedure. If he had come out different from when he came in. And that sore? I had it sent off for pathology but won't hear back until at least mid next week. So I fret. Is there anything I can do between now and then? No. Is there anything I can do about his seizure? Nope. So it would make sense if I simply put it down as things to take into account and worry about later, if warranted. I am fretting anyway.

5. As a silly thing (well, silly in my sick mind), that Damn Dog started out with stitches on his lower leg where they took off the thing. The vets left for lunch. And came back to carnage where Link had nibbled the stitches out and was bleeding all over the place. (It was only an inch long incision!) So the vet upped the ante: staples! Cone! Oh, that dog can radiate the ultimate sulk when he wants to, and the Cone of Shame is an instant cue to ramp up the sulk. He's been restricted to almost full-time cone since his surgery Tuesday. I finally let him out for a while for a good snuggle, brushing, and playtime tonight. Wow! He mostly behaved in not nibbling at his staples, so long as he is in straight view of me. Hiding in the bedroom out of sight? Nope. Nibblenibblenibble. He gets to stay on his floor bed in front of me where I can see when his sneaky self decides to scratch an itch. Eventually next week he'll get out the itchy things (staples) and then we can see about full-time freedom after that.

But I digress. That's the world as of right now. Welcome to my life.

Dreams and Nightmares

Jason's birthday was on the 5th. I was only partly insane, probably not as much as his awesome mom and dad. Some days are harder than others. Last week 12 years ago we were in Kauai on our Anniversarymoon. For some reason reliving those photo places sent me into a little bit of a not-good-place. Not horrible, mind you, just...uncomfortable? Which is fine. Memories are good and keep his memory alive.

I also had a very strange dream. My pooch, Link, had gotten loose and was running wild in the middle of traffic. I knew it was him from his bright green collar. I saw him get hit. I panicked of course, and tried to drive backwards off the onramp (I even could tell you the exact streets) to get to him. I looked and looked and finally saw him in a vet office being taken care of. His paw was bent at an odd angle and he looked scared. Probably not as scared as when I woke up in a sweat. He's not a child, but I do worry about him, and being rather off from the 5th was just fueling the fire for nightmares--though not of Jason. Just the other male in my life that keeps me sane.

He hasn't been joining me on walks because there haven't been any walks to join. I see the specialist tomorrow to see how we can treat the blasted plantar fasciitis since I've tried all the conservative methods that I know of/could find on the interwebs. Stretches? Got 'em. Strengthening? Been there, done that (and have very happy ankles, just not feet). Exercise? Counterproductive, as it turns out. Good boots? The only thing keeping me on my feet. So we'll see what he says.

The only other thing is that in the past two weeks I have not only lost weight (my feet thank me) but have lost 6 pounds! Yes, the first couple were probably water, but I now officially have gotten rid of a small dose of one of the meds I am on. I am in and out of ketosis depending on the day which seems to have upped the concentration of it--less meds=good thing! So I'm proud. It's only been two weeks and two days, but I will take every bit I can.

But now it is time to figure out what lunch is going to be, considering that I failed to pack anything this morning. Snack food to the rescue! 

As an aside: I have an awesome boss who trusts me to be a productive member of the organization. No micromanaging!

Discovery? Maybe?

Monsoons = Inflammation   

Way back in 2007-2013 I had to modify my diet to eat gluten free to keep my guts happy and useful. Having a short tether to a bathroom really is no fun. Not celiac, just intolerance. At the time my rheumatoid arthritis was kicking up a storm as well and my stress level was through the roof from dealing with Jason's terminal illness. It was a perfect storm of inflammation that let up only late in 2013 once that stress level had gone down. The RA mostly subsided and a trial run of fresh croissants led me to test the waters and eventually plunge back into the world of gluten.

Fast forward to 2022 and a surgery for gallstones. That tether to a bathroom was back and it had shortened the leash. "It'll just go away." "Tough it out." Yeah. Nothing was working and it appeared that there was no light at the tunnel. This amped up the stress because that makes hikes and walks difficult (not to mention simple life things like shopping) knowing that at any moment my body may decide that it's time to be rid of stuff...often at inopportune moments.

Last week I started a low-carb, medium-fat/protein diet which inadvertently cut out gluten and most large sources of sugars. Other than that little misstep with eating an entire cantaloupe at one sitting (uh. oops.), my innards have been cooperating. It took my mother pointing out the correlation out to me. Also my RA has been kicking up, adding to the inflammation, but I wasn't sure whether to link that to true RA flaring thanks to extra monsoon weather or to some other source of ouch. I haven't had a flare since 2019 and I went off all of the RA meds since 2020...hoping that this doesn't go full-blown, but I have meds in case it does.

So here is the magic question: What gives with the cooperating innards? Gluten? General sugars? Different body outlook? Correlation does not always equal causation.

Next question: Will the healthier eating affect the RA/other joint pain issues? Not sure what oral steroids might do to me, but it may be time for the RA .Hoping that the dietary changes might calm the plantar fasciitis a bit too from less inflammation in general, or even if only from there being less of me to schlep around. 

Now it is time to think about which munchies I want for lunch. I bought a selection of goodies to keep at work and I am slowly picking my way through them to try a little bit of each. Best so far? The feta stuffed olives. NOM!

Another New Beginning

Holy Crap. My Boss Cares.

Yesterday I decided that I was going to get back on the journey to get healthier. I packed a healthy lunch and avoided the loved/dreaded on-campus lunch (flame-grilled giant hamburgers and cake to be exact). Shortly after lunch--and an exploding printer ink cartridge--my boss talked to me and somehow managed to bring up the topic of health very, very gently. It is pretty darn obvious that I have gained 50 pounds over the last six months after slowly shrinking for over a year. He asked if I had been getting sleep (still tired from COVID, so yes), mental rest (yes, I am good at that when anxiety isn't interfering), and snuck in a question about if I had seen a nutritionist (ding ding! There it goes!). Now, I somehow didn't get offended. It felt like concern rather than chiding. Yes, I am getting paid for a transaction of service, but he was honestly concerned for my wellbeing.

So. Yeah. I was glad that I already had started my new endeavor or I probably would have shut down and been an anxious and teary mess. But he knew that I had started, so he may have found an in for the conversation. As it was, I just felt...cared for? Yeah, that's the best word I can come up with.

In other news: Soaking Rain. It has pretty much stopped now, but we had a soaking rain overnight that was slow enough to not trigger flash floods or slides in the burn scars around the state. And it's only supposed to reach 75 today. A far cry from the 100s a week and a half ago! Welcome, monsoon! Please stick around and fill the soil and reservoirs, please. It does mean that I got to dig out a shirt that I only got to wear a couple times earlier in the year before the weather got too hot. It is snug now (*sigh*) but still fits and is cute. It's also warmer than my sleeveless dresses that I usually wear over my basic pants--wind means I don't wear them alone...and my blindingly white legs that nobody wants to see, including me.

Sleepy Snuggles from Over the Weekend

The dog is going into withdrawal since Dad left the state on another jaunt. REALLY clingy. I even let him up on my lap yesterday since he was so attached to me and needy. He also was pretty sore, despite wanting to play tug. So I gave him pain meds and let him snooze on my chest. And snore. Good Lord, the snores. But after that he was quite happy to lay on his own couch and snooze/snore and rumble Mom's chair, so I must have fulfilled his need for touch. And it was nice for me as well.

RAIN! DIRT!

Summer in the desert: Hot. Windy. Dry…And wet?

In short: Fires. Yup. The state is on fire, mostly thanks to the local Forest Service’s incompetence and mismanagement. But that is a rant for another day. But that does mean hefty smoke in some areas and a giant hope that monsoon season shows up soon. And it is supposed to—this weekend in fact. Even if I have to wipe off muddy paws, I’m happy to do it, and maybe even frolic in the drips if I get the urge (though probably not nekkid). It can’t come too soon for my liking.

Yesterday at work I got to play in DIRT! Yes, you read that right. I got to take care of our much-neglected houseplants, including my poor hibiscus that needed over half the bag of dirt to get it back up to where it needed to be. That bush (tree?) is my baby. It is the reason I have the small cozy office instead of the huge sterile one. That and the prolific philodendron keep me company in my cave.

In other news, I have mostly recovered from COVID-19. Just some slight taste changes, more joint pain, and a pretty hefty dose of fatigue. I escaped pretty darn well compared to others. Working is difficult for the last half of the day. I had to take my 15 minute break yesterday afternoon for a (alarm set) nap. I can’t wait for that to get better, though with how much I need naps in general I am not sure how long that is going to take. But breaks are awesome and I can get in 10 minutes of sleep out of those 15 and that is enough to tide me over till I get back to the house. Dear naps: I love you. Be patient with me.

Scared *&^%less

Of what, you ask? Nothing much. Just words on a page. My own words on a page.  And sharing those words with other people. At the urging of a couple friends, I am once again looking into publishing my first book. I already paid to have it professionally edited (and that was pricy), so I have a head's up on some other competition. But it is a genre-bender. Cyber-punk meets Urban-fantasy--for those who know RPGs, this is where Shadowrun fits best. And that is a problem since when I tried before, nobody wanted to touch it. I even went directly to Shadowrun, knowing that there would have to be major overhauls of the story. They don't want unpublished writers.

Damn. I sure could use this button.

BUT

The Shadowrun people do often have openings for short stories and blurbs for their sourcebooks that I might qualify for and keep my writing going in that genre. After a good schooling in the current Shadowrun system and intricacies. Then there is the 2,000-word writing example hook to be submitted for review.

AND

The second book is ready for reading, and almost ready for professional editing. I have more tweaking that needs to happen, but that is what is keeping me focused for now. This one is a Young Adult Fantasy (that could be just simply lumped into Swords and Sorcery Fantasy) that is far from the first one on topic and characters. I have yet to find where I can market this one to.

Until something I reach out for magically works, I will just have to keep prodding agents and corporations until someone gets tired of me asking for attention.

Sneaksy. Very Sneaksy.

Cough? Got it, but that is to be expected. Sniffles? Same. But there is one effect that snuck up on me three days into COVID-19: the dreaded taste and smell loss. "So what?" I hear you ask. Food I can get around by texture and basic flavors of sweet/salty and the like, but there is one major drawback: 

I. Can't. Taste. Tea.

I live on tea during the week. One might call me a tea snob at times. I very carefully made up my morning brew yesterday and finally took a sip once it was cool enough. And could only detect the bitter tannins. *sniffle* And it may be a couple months before it fixes itself. *sob*

So I'm mostly back to normal routine, if not at 100% since I am REALLY tired and foggy all the time. Keeping my thoughts together is difficult. Heck, even something simple like a blog post takes it out of me.

I could take the lack of taste as a signal to eat less, but I am well aware how to eat for texture rather than tastes when necessary. And eat I have. Still up at 220, despite the complete lack of exercise, so I guess that is something. Mom is cleared for her new restrictive keto diet, so it could be an interesting next couple months as we settle into the rhythm of things. I get to do a modified version since one of my med's side effects are directly linked to salt balance in my body. That will be the hard part--maintaining a deficit of calories on a high-fat diet. She's being monitored closely. Me less so since there really isn't much to test for outside of the previously mentioned med balance. Now I get to decide if I am going to measure out my foods again, knowing full well that it works for me. It is a pain, but it may keep me from going overboard on the various nutrient balances. It will work. 

Poor Dad has no idea what he is in for. I'm going to try to cook so that he isn't feeling deprived--low sugar spaghetti sauce with squash for mom, a little pasta for me, and a lot of pasta for Dad. Taters are out, but pot roast with the rest of the veggies is fine. Make taters for Dad and mom and I get the onions and carrots and shrooms. May have to do chicken and rice/chicken soup for all of us on occasion as well.

But I'm rambling and desperately need a nap. A nap that I probably won't get today. So it goes.

Vaccinated... Yet...

Vulnerable. Well, more than vulnerable. I have indeed contracted COVID-19, though I can't figure out from where. I've been careful to wear my mask when near strangers, though less good about sanitizing my hands and not touching my eyes. Obviously, I missed something along the line. But that can happen, as in this case.

So this is the sequence of events for me:

Headache,-->headache, muscle aches from hell, tiredness--> exhaustion, fever, cough-->tiredness, sneezes, occasional coughs

I'm not sure what the next couple days will be like, but if today is any indication, I should be up to almost normal tomorrow. 

It made it through three shots. My body reaaaally wanted to invite the invader in. I am not amused. But I should be good to go for at least a few months without really worrying about it. Gotta see more upsides, like it could have been so much worse!

But, my appetite is back after a short hiatus. And that has led to me overcompensating by eating everything in sight. Meh. It could have been so much worse.

It is that time.

I think we passed spring already. Summer is here.

Complete with 90 degree days and full-bloom roses! Thank heavens that I have a window AC unit in my office or I would be a sweaty mess come 3pm. That rose? From work. The gardener gave me a choice of which one I wanted and I went with the big open one instead of the young one. I wanted instant floral gratification. So my little hedgehog has a hat.

I haven't managed to gain any more weight over the last one/two weeks, though not for lack of trying with how I have been eating! Time to get back to at least being mindful of when I am hungry, even if I immediately give in to the hunger/horrible munchies.

In other news, it is a good thing that I have copies of all my important documents stashed either in my house or in the safety deposit box. Yesterday I...um...threw away my driver's license. Yup. In the trash with the little paper holder banks use to give you your money in. I grabbed the cash but not the card. And the trash can was empty when I went back to try and snag it. So I drove the 90 minutes home to get the data I needed to buy a new license, then yesterday picked up my passport just to be safe if people get persnickety about accepting the printed-out temporary license.

All that means that I had to work today (and am taking my break) instead of yesterday--with an awesome boss who let me get what needed done finished on my normal day in the office. But on that note, time to get back to business!

Getting Political and Sensical

Let's just get this out here while I'm on a rant. 

I can't be compelled by the law to give blood to a dying person, even if my special blood is needed for their special body. My organs can't be harvested to save other people's lives without my prior consent, families' desires be damned..

So why is it that I (the general "I", not me. That would take some serious work.) could be legally compelled to carry another person/being without my consent?  Even if that person would die due to my actions/inactions? 

Would I get an abortion electively? No. But I am only me. I don't hold it against other people who wish to do so since that is their choice for their bodies. This is about autonomy, pure and simple. When live uteri have less legal standing than blood and DEAD organs, we have a problem. A big problem. AND I AM LIVID! Heck, a donated uterus could have more rights than that same uterus in another person! 

But there's my rant. Opinionate from here so should you choose.

My Dear Green Sheep

One of the sheep in the Golias flock needed brewing equipment for a foray into mead brewing. I have stuff. He needed stuff. My repayment? A sip of each one he makes. Good trade. I think we both win with that agreement. The brewing gear hasn't been used in years, but it doesn't get old (other than a little brittle for some of the plastics), so I am happy to share. For one of my flock, almost anything.

In other news of my fellow sheep, I got to spend a nice time out with friends last night and catching up. Raunchy replies and suggestive talk galore. It. Was. Awesome. And should happen more often if I can kick myself off of my hermit arse. I love having friends that I can taunt mercilessly with little chance of overstepping my own or others' boundaries. I can flirt without intent and lay it on thick. Since flirt is the default mode for me, I have to watch it because I have no intent to follow through. With these friends (and others in this core circle of teasing) it is a nice escape from the prim and proper façade I have to keep up at work most of the time. I feel at ease and just...well...home.

And on a final note: dear New Mexico, you are jumping ahead of yourself. As the days inch ever so closely to 90F it seems that spring has come and gone over a couple weeks. Whereas we were asking for coats and sweatpants for our men at work we are now looking for scrubs and shorts! But that's the high desert for you--pushing 90 during the days and still in the 40s for lows. Luckily today and tomorrow are not going to be scorchers, but still, it is far too close to summer for me.

Thanks to the early summer and lack of water over the winter (such as it was) is that the fires that have been ravaging the state have finally hit me close to home. No, not trying to burn me out, it just took out my much-beloved camping site south of me. Completely torched. *sigh* But that is a small inconvenience in comparison to those losing their property and livelihood. I just hope we have some rain, or at least no wind for a while. 

The Lingering

Where I Would Like to Linger

It's been a little over a week since I got sick. Not bad anymore, but still sound (and somewhat feel) sick. Thank you, Grandpa. Mom has pneumonia from it, unfortunately, but we got in to see the doc before it had a chance to get really serious. The boss is sick as well, but probably not from me. Today we were going over things that needed done and were talking at each other but not mentally hearing and getting frustrated. We both took a moment to evaluate--the being sick had addled both of our brains. After that brief break we were able to get communicated what needed done. Curse you, germs!

After the FUn of being sick I managed to lose a few pounds. I am taking this as a starting point to lose the 25 I gained shortly before and after surgery. Back to the eating food. Mostly plants. Not too much. And tracking what I eat so I am accountable for what I eat. Side effect of tracking? I can see how much of my foods count as carb, fat, and protein and see how that charts with my innards cooperation. Sounds like a win to me!

I'm apparently one of the few who have gastric problems months out from gallbladder surgery, yay. Freaking yay. So the keto diet just isn't going to work with my system, at least not for now. This weekend I am going to be on easy-to-digest food to see if I can get it under control. I'm not expecting much, to be honest, but I am trying to keep up hope that something will get it calmed down and happy again. But the tracking should help...and may even keep me alert of how many useless carbs I have been eating. (I'm looking at you, cake.) But I am currently large enough that my knees are complaining again and that makes me ready to do something about it. Again. But it is the moving forward that counts.

I talked to one of my docs yesterday and explained that I was starting to get healthy again. She offered meds. I turned her down. I know some of the side effects. Guess what one is? Gastric Issues. Nope. No thank you. I've lost weight in the past (healthily), and I can do it again without extra additions to my daily stresses. My doc thought she was being helpful, and I understand that, but I just couldn't justify the small chance of help losing (and high chance of gaining back after stopping the med) for the high chance of side effects that would be intolerable to me. Nope.

And so I am back to planning meals and shopping with purpose, which I pretty much was doing before--with "purpose" including large amounts of sugary carby goodness. Mom isn't sure if she is going to be able to do the keto diet yet, but I will support her however it turns out. It will just be interesting joining in each other's meals. I've done it before with Jason, so I know that I can do it again if need be. And maybe at that point the innards will have calmed down enough to try it for myself!

When Sharing Goes Wrong

Dearest Grandfather,

Someone taught you to share a little too well. 

Love,

Me

Yupper, he shared his cold with me. And Mom. And Dad. Not COVID, thank goodness, but it's still kicking my butt. I had to take Thursday off from work and cancelled my appointments for Monday.

On a good (?) note, I've lost five pounds, despite drinking a ton of water. Of course, I haven't really been eating much, so that figures.

In other news, my computer is mostly dead. I put in part of the warranty process, but the company requires a phone call to complete the process. First the automated routing couldn't parse my speech. Then the poor Indian man on the other end of the line just couldn't understand me through the coughing. It will just have to wait.

All thanks to a giving grandfather.

Detour

On a break and back safe from the grandparents--dodged and weaved the political and religious topics of conversations and made it through relatively unscathed! The dog got to enjoy all the attention and the car rides. Mom and I got to see them and Dad got to spoil the dog again. But the drive back was...well...oops.

Let me preface this by saying this: I hate Denver driving. Now that that is out of the way, we get into the adventure. I thought I had made it through Denver and its suburbs way to quickly, but I blamed it on focusing on the traffic and construction all over the place. I was confused why the mile marker numbers were getting bigger rather than smaller. I blamed this on not knowing which direction the numbers go on interstates.

I was wrong.

Mom woke up about fifty miles from Nebraska and pointed out that we may indeed be going the wrong direction. We were. Whereby "We" really means "I" was going the wrong direction since she was asleep since Denver. Oh well. We switched drivers since I was obviously no good to drive and she drove back the 45 miles till we could take a different road south on a parallel to the interstate (a road we also are familiar with). Oops.

So we got into town at around 2am, with Mom driving the night section, instead of midnight or 11 we would have been without the detour. That will teach me to focus more on construction than staying on the right road. I'll chock it up to Denver craziness instead of me just being dumb. At least that is what I tell myself.

I had to sleep in this morning, but I had already given my boss a head's up about perhaps being late or gone for today. I was sure glad I did because I am pretty tired already (though I have had less caffeine today than usual for a workday). 

I also stepped on the scale expecting to have gained another 5 pounds since last check. Nope. No change despite traveling and overeating in general. I am going to start watching what I eat even before I hear back on Mom's status for doing the keto diet. I may even be able to do it myself if need be, since I got permission to do it even while on lithium, with close monitoring and self-checkins. We shall see. Not sure if it is a good idea or not, but I can at least start the transfer over to healthy eating again after falling off the wagon for the last two months (two? I have no idea).

And now, I will begrudgingly get back to work on a caffeine low. Not long to go anyway. 

Trepidation

I have two things happening over the next week that have me freaking out majorly, like, panic attack freak. The first is that I am braving the cold with my mother to drive up to my grandparents. They are...difficult. To say the least. But at 87 and 90 they are pretty set in their ways at this point. We don't share much along the lines of politics and (unbeknownst to them) religion. I love them dearly, but I dread spending more than a day with them because lots of feelings get hurt on all sides and snide comments attack both Mom and me on a regular basis. But I love them and it means that I can keep them from trying to drive 800 miles down to see us here and kill themselves or someone else on their way (reference ages and add frail health).

Number two is self-inflicted with the idea to help both my mother and myself and scares the living crap out of me. That would be endeavoring on a ketogenic diet (with mine as only a maybe since my meds may cause troubles with it), or something near it (if there are problems). Mom initiated this journey through prodding from her healthcare provider with a free keto monitoring and support package. I'm on board if it makes us healthy and helps out her at the same time, though without the strict medical guidance. I'm comfortable on my side since I am familiar with the diet from when I was helping Jason with the diet long ago. I did a modified version for me then. Dad's not really sure what he is in for, but we are going to try to make meals that we all can eat with modifications. It's going to be difficult with all the added pitfalls around the house like dried fruit and candy around. Heck. The bread. The blasted real bread is going to be my downfall if I am not careful. I'm planning on picking up some of the fake keto stuff just to keep myself sane. And then there's cereal that will be back in the house. Those two things, bread and cereal, are the bane of my dietary health. Going low-carb should put a damper on many of the things I would normally nosh on.

So I'm a little over my head on the keto thing and I'm not sure how long either of us are going to last. When one of us falls, the other is likely to crumble. With our stubbornness we are likely to prod each other into keeping at it for at least a while. I am hoping that, after the initial withdrawal, things go smoothly without too many slip-ups. I am going to miss the cinnamon rolls and fresh treats terribly. She can't have fake sugars, but doesn't usually crave sweets so she should be fine on that route. Me? I'm going to be relying on some extra supermarket help for my sanity. I'm going to keep it real food, but I need my sweet tooth cradled from time to time. Yeah, yeah, I know that having fake-sweetened food is supposedly a bad idea, but I am going to need it, especially at first.

So there you have it: TLDR: Going to visit cranky grandparents (with Mom). Starting a new diet (with Mom).

The Blinking Light

It's amazing what a phone message can do. A simple message.

Today was difficult at work, and I'm just now taking lunch to get a break. Things were going wrong, the pace too fast for my brain, and my body interfering and needing to be close to the restroom. It was not a pleasant morning. 

Then I noticed that there was a flashing light on my phone indicating a message for me. I hate messages. They mean more people to interact with who may be hostile for not getting a human.

But this was different. There was a woman who was almost in tears thanking me for my note on her receipt that I sent out before I left on vacation. She had apologized for not giving more when she sent in her donation. I had simply scribbled a short note thanking her donation and that we appreciate her support no matter the size of donation. She sounded...in awe that someone cared? loved as a person?...that I had sent the note. She was in desperate times, with her husband sick and finances tight, and she still took the the time and effort to donate to us, and to think that she was guilty that it wasn't more. Guilt!

So her thanks just made my day. Kindness does come around. I have it saved to my archive for days that I can really use a reminder of why I like my job. And I do.

Did I Learn Nothing?

Last week was breaking myself from sugars. Yesterday when I got back into Albuquerque I fell right back into the same carby pattern. I'm just... Disappointed.

I lost three pounds last week. I'm sure I'll put that right back on if I'm not careful. Hell, today's lunch was a hamburger and onion rings. At least I got a no-calorie drink and only ate half of the bun. But still. *Sigh* 

Also, Link now knows the word "hike." 

On a good note, I bought a pair of hiking boots--the same brand and model I have been wearing for over a decade, Merrells--and bought a different size since it's been a while since I have been fitted. They fit really well in the store. Then I went on a two mile hike today over varied terrain. Toes were scrunched slightly. Thank goodness I bought them from REI since I can take them back with no penalty. But I got in the hike! Also note that just because his tongue is hanging out does not mean I have neglected to offer him water. He's just being an idiot and not drinking at this point in the hike.

Maybe Next Time

I might nix the internet from my vacations, like I do when I go camping. Yeah, yeah, I'm writing this on an internet connection while watching videos online, but somehow I wonder if I should hold internet necessities next time. Granted, my people would worry about me then. Of course, they worry about me when I try to become a burrito for a bear too. Yet I really like the ability to peruse YouTube while I type blog entries.

 

Link has mastered the Netflix-and-Chill mentality

Heck, I even have phone service here!

Next time will be out to the west of the state instead of east/central unless something else pops up, also with internet, but no cell coverage, which does feel a little more freeing while allowing myself to use or not use digital devices. A couple times today I just put everything down and drank my tea outside, dog sniffing around me for scraps and pettins. The hikes where I silence the phone (but still take it because I'm not stupid and might need it). The cooking without eating out (though that isn't really unusual for me on my own, just when I am up with the parents). But that is for the last free week of my job, at least paid vacation that is. Probably not until October so that it is cool again. A long time.

On other news: food. I have been eating no sugar (yeah, fruit is fine) and thus have been having more fat than usual. I even found mint chocolate chip ice cream! It is indeed ice and cream mostly, and tasty too. But that and the beloved eggs and such is very different from my usual diet. I don't think this is sustainable for me, and that's okay. It was a...I hate to use this term...washout from me needing bread and cereal. I am in control of what I eat and some of the cravings have hushed. Oh, do I still want a fresh and hot piece of bread with jam? Hell yes! But I think I could have one piece. One. Not four. Or just huff the bread like I did when I couldn't have gluten all those years ago (excess stress made my body react to all sorts of things). And no more Fruity Pebbles. Nuff said.

What is This?

 

 

What in the name of all that is cold and dreary is this stuff? Is it snow? Is it rain? Is is some hellish combination of it made up to lower the temperature in a hurry?

I have dubbed it snain. Neither rain nor snow. And thunder.

Overnight we failed to have the predicted inch or so of snow and massive winds, which is fine by me. Seeing that this meant the trails were dry, I decided to go out for a walk. It was not a very long walk because the incoming weather significantly dropped the temperature and, let's face it, I'm a wimp when it comes to cold, even when bundled up in a warm coat and gloves. But it did mean that I got moving today instead of being in complete sloth mode as was the expectation as of yesterday (and will probably be tomorrow). I didn't even make it around the shorter of the hikes and instead chose to cut that one in half--reference the wimping out.

I had good timing since after I got home it continued to get colder and eventually led to the snain shown above. It was nice looking out at it from the warm inside the cabin. Made me happy to have gotten out, but equally happy to have been home when it started.

The dog, at the first sound of thunder, decided that my feet were the place to lay or right against the couch if he couldn't reach the feet because they were on the couch. He's not terrified of thunder but he certainly is not a fan. But even without the weather he is in his spot by the couch with his head stuffed under the table so he can see out the window. Silly boi. And he's snoring again.

The eating is going well, though I have exhausted my stash of roasted nuts. I made a pig of myself on my bag of cashews last night and ate all that I had saved up for the next two days. I don't want to go out to the store so I am making the most of the food that I have here and carefully rationing so I don't have to go to the store.

On that. I did go into the grocery store to get said nuts and some veggies to make chicky shoup for dinner last night...and found "keto ice cream." It's mostly cream, as it turns out, and is really tasty. I got the mint chocolate chip and I am carefully rationing it, which isn't hard because dang is that stuff rich. Now if only I had rationed the cashews.

Bread. My Nemesis. Bwa Ha Ha!

 

This week I embarked on a trial run of a self-made diet to see if it can help with both my weight and my digestion woes that the lack of gallbladder has produced. Why? Because I am thirty pounds heavier than four months ago. 30.  I can pinpoint the reasons for that gain: white bread and cereal carbs, closely followed by apathy. My innards are less than pleased and problematic. Solution? Washout the cravings for butter and sugar bread and bowls upon bowls of cereal. 

First I am switching out regular milk for almond milk (I am using Califa Barista because it is awesome), nixing the bread, and kicking out all added sugars I can find. This includes condiments--who knew BBQ sauce had so much sugar! The sugar in my tea is now stevia drops, which I have used in the past and just got out of the habit because it has a different mouthfeel to sugar. I don't drink soda, except for the rare diet Dr. Pepper, so that is easy. For now I cut out dairy, other than cheese, since I tend to binge on it.

So for now I am loving the eggs, nuts, salads, and lean meats. And a few no sugar chocolate chips for the craving crushers. But, having said that, I am still eating fruit, so it is not a true keto diet, just low-carb and ultra-low added sugar. And tea, of course. Always the tea.

Is it sustainable? Not for me. Dairy will end up back in there, but probably not real milk to prevent the cereal binges (also getting rid of the cereal will help too!). But bread? That is sticky. I LOVE bread. And my mom makes some awesome homemade stuff that will be about the house out of my control. I will need to make peace with the fact that there will be that good stuff in my future, I just need to keep from devouring it all at one time, especially with butter and sugar on it. Other than that I am going to try to keep the bread to a minimum and if really necessary for some reason it will be whole grain.

This week is proving that I have a physical addiction to a large amount of carbs. So far my guts have been happy to oblige this change. No major incidents to speak of and less...um...unpleasantness. Still some there, but A: I am only two days in on this, and B: I got a LOT of exercise in, which may or may not have altered the system. Being a half hour from a grocery store is preventing me from chickening out and throwing in the carberific towel. (But it is there in case I mismanaged my food estimates.)

So now there are beets in the oven, waiting to be sprinkled with feta cheese and devoured. Interesting side-note. There was no cutting board in the cabin so I made do with the already-sad sheet pan as a board for the beets. A little more damage isn't going to cause any harm. I lined the pan with aluminum foil for easy cleanup anyway. 

Now off to check on lunch and then to troubleshoot my computer Windows update. Again. 

Also: I can't wait for that massage tomorrow after a little overdoing it the past two days.

What to do in the Mountains?

 

 

Happy Good Boy on a Break

Get moving! Day 2 of hiking and Link is once again zonked out on his couch after a hike and my feet are VERY confused. Yesterday after getting settled into the cabin I hopped on down (well...drove  fifteen minutes) down to the shorter of the two hikes, about 2 miles. I had two pairs of hiking boots to see which fit better before I went on the longer hike. The first pair was not the answer. So today I did the 3.5 mile beast (for me) of up and down in the smaller and newer of the boots. I found the answer! Except where the problems showed up from yesterday. Still a win.

So now I am dead. Given that it has been a while since I did a longer hike (I think today's was 3.5ish), I call this a success! I am, however, debating whether tomorrow's planned long-ish 4.5 mile hike is a good idea. Why shove all these hikes into such a short time? Snow/Rain. Coming in on Tuesday and continuing into Wednesday with snow overnight and rain during the day. Not ideal hiking weather in what becomes a muddy mess. I kid you not, there is a "Mud-O-Meter" at the start/end of trail. The last hike is liable to still have mud after last week's snow. We shall see if I am up to another longer hike (but it is mostly level walking instead of today's vertical shifting). There is no way I am managing that after some added moisture.

So what am I going to do with the rest of the vacation?

Be. Just Be. 

Oh, and a massage on Tuesday. The poor masseuse can de-knot all the hiking in an hour of what is going to be lots of sighing and purring on my end. Me. Netflix. Internet. Book. Tea. Open doors and a blanket to just enjoy the air. 

I'm trying a change in my diet this week, but I'll toss that up in a later post.

For now: puppy snores, carb withdrawal, and lots of tea.