Behold! Winter Comfort Food! Posole!

 

The best looking photo? Nope. Tasty as all get-out? Yup!

 

This is posole, a red chile (yes. With an "e") pork and hominy stew that I associate with winter comfort food. It is best served with a wedge or two of lemon, a sprinkle of oregano, and a small mince of fresh onion on top. And it is delicious. The first time I made this I cooked it far too long and ended up with very good smelling but awfully textured pork-flavored hominy mush. Vile. Much better this time.

So, since the last time I did this I got requests for the recipe, allow me to typeity it down here:

 

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New Mexican Posole (Or Pozole if you prefer)

1-2 pounds frozen uncooked posole corn which is nixtimalized hominy corn (or dried hominy in a pinch). More gives you stew, less gives you soup. I suggest 1.)

2-3 pounds pork butt, chunked bite sized with bone reserved (that's shoulder, about 1.5 to 2 pounds-ish with a bone to make up the rest)

1 or 2 16 oz tubs of  frozen red chile puree (I used mild and only one because I couldn't find medium and I'm too much of a pansy to use hot. I think I'd use two next time)

1 gallon-ish water (enough to top off the pot. Pork stock is best, but not usually at hand)

1.5 medium onions, chopped (with half reserved and minced for topping)

6 cloves of garlic, minced (at least. I used much more of the freeze-dried variety)

2 Tbs. Better than Bouillon Beef flavor (since I wasn't using pork stock)

1 tsp dried oregano (plus more for sprinkling)

1 Tbs. salt (to taste)

1 fresh lemon for garnish (just trust me)

1. Combine corn, pork and bone, chile sauce, and water in a big pot, or at least enough water to fill the pot comfortably. Bring to a boil and reduce to a simmer for 30 minutes.

2. Add in onions, garlic, bouillon, oregano and cook for 1 hour.

3. Add salt to taste.

4. Serve with reserved raw onion, lemon wedges, and a sprinkle of dried oregano. 

4.5 Do not burn your mouth on scalding hot hominy. Repeat.

Can be frozen, which is good since this makes an entire monster pot worth.

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So make it. If you like red chile and pork, give it a try. If you don't? Try someone else's first so you don't have a gallon and a half of soup hanging around. If you can't find the corn or chile, try your closest Mexican market in the frozen section. I recommend Bueno brand.

Ability to Escape

The Traveling Buddy Hard at Work

I am cleared for a vacation after the whole annual hoopla from work calms down! I am so happy to have a job with paid leave, even for part time workers. And sick time for that matter. (Which I had to use this morning for a migraine. That sucked.) I have chosen a cabin in the middle-of-nowhere New Mexico, in general keeping with my past vacations, snow may or may not be included. Eight days of getting away from people, cooking tasty meals, hiking out the back door, and in general disturbing the elk with Link's whining. Surrounded on three sides by national forest, I can pretty much go wherever I please so long as I keep track of where I am going and how to get back home. Score! One thing that I do to take pity on work is keeping myself somewhere that has internet, if not cell coverage. It also means I have YouTube and Netflix for entertainment when I am not writing. Second benefit of my hermitage: COVID-19 free

On that. I have the second book almost ready for professional editing. This one is a monster slaying romp. I still need to tweak the end since it is rather abrupt, but other than that I am good to go. I think I will publish the first one digitally since it really isn't that good. Live and learn. And, oh, have I learned! This one wasn't written all at once though, so I will have to watch my tone to keep it consistent. Then to get a paid editor to take a look and check my timing as well since it takes place over several years. I have tried to condense it down to keep it moving, but that only has worked to a small extent. I am worried that it is too close to a currently popular tv show/game, but I wrote it before I ever heard of the characters! They are different though, I just don't know if it is going to be enough. Monster slaying with teacher/student in general is a common trope, so I don't foresee it being too much of a problem. Maybe a bonus because it is something that we already knows sells, unlike the last book that was a niche market!

Inclusive Healthcare--A Miracle!

I may have stumbled upon a rare thing: a doctor who listens.

My last one was just sort of there and judgmental as all get-out. Granted, I was heavy enough that it was affecting my joints moreso than now, but that was no reason to dismiss my concerns out of hand as if it was all due to my weight. As it turns out, thyroid trouble along with endometriosis and fibroids all have this little way of interfering with life (those and other things are under control now). She's no longer in practice, thank heavens. Which leads me to:

A Miracle

I just switched primary care doctors, so I had the whole annual physical, health questionnaire, and overall once-over. She mentioned that my labs and everything looked so I was doing well. Not one peep about me being overweight. Not one blip about it. No prod to lose. Instead she focused on my mental health and how I was on top of that as well. I mentioned that even when I was 50 pounds lighter, my bloodwork and blood pressure were nice. I got the thumbs up for getting healthier, but she really was focusing more on me as a whole instead of me as a statistic.

And she listened. For twenty minutes we were in the room and chatted about everything that needed to be covered. Vaccines: got 'em. She was wowed that my RA was under control. And I walked in with extensive labs that had just been done, so she got to have a full view of me as an organism as well as a human being with a brain. She mentioned that she was there if I needed anything, but that I was doing well and to keep it up. 

Those of us who are of a certain shape know that we are doing the best we can. Harping on it just doesn't do any good. In fact, when someone looks at me and says I should lose weight, it makes me have the knee-jerk reaction of reaching for the first cookie I see. Maybe two. Highly unproductive for either party.

But she didn't. She listened. And I hope that she continues to be in practice for a long time!

When Love Turned Violent

Februaries tend to be hard for me thanks to memories of Jason's last few months on this earth. One thing I haven't been able to understand was why he would hurt me, but no one else, as the steroids took over. I understand the anger, having been on high doses myself, but to have someone so gentle turn so different just makes my heart break to remember.

January was when it started, kicking at me from his wheelchair. At first I just thought it was a way for him to get my attention, but he still could easily talk at that point. Slapping my hand away was common too.

Now, let me be clear, none of this was very violent, just heartbreaking (and lots of bruised shins). There wasn't anything to be done about it at the time. Brain cancer and steroids do strange things to brilliant minds. For someone with a Masters degree in computer science to lose his calculating capabilities must have been truly devastating for him. To lose him slowly while he became less him was devastating for me. And it wasn't just me. My Mom and Dad on his side felt it as well, though differently I'm sure to lose their son.

Mid-February he started having serious hallucinations that someone was breaking into house. He couldn't really walk on his own at that point and he wouldn't believe me I had checked the back door for the third time that night. I told him I wasn't going help him check it out for himself. Then he took a swing at me. I dropped him out of my arms and stepped back, just staring in disbelief as he tried to get up. Eventually the steroid rage subsided and we both got back into bed, but I never saw him the same after that. That was the day before Valentine's day.

Happily Perched

 

Alone on a Rock

And I'm happy that way. I have support all around me, and that keeps me sane, but I love having time to myself where nobody needs anything (other than the dog, but he's pretty low-maintenance). Sometimes I take this so far as to disconnect for a week on a vacation from people, news, and work, but that doesn't usually happen. Reference those people around me who care about me and worry if they don't hear from me occasionally. It makes me feel loved. 

But I do indeed need time to myself. My weekends are bliss for me after half the week sharing the house with my parents. Nothing against them, but I need my own space and, barring unforeseen circumstances, I want to keep it that way. 

I hear you saying, "But Heather, don't you want to get back out there in the dating world?" And I have a one word response, "Nope." I wasn't looking to date Jason and I'm not interested at all in having another person sharing my space. Should it happen eventually, fine, but I'm not looking and am not interested in it.

So like this tree, I'm up on a hill quite happily living and thriving, with all the other support trees keeping an eye on me. It's a happy spot to be.

Oopsies

On the Road...Somewhat

Over the past month and a half I have managed to gain over 10 pounds. Nobody's fault but mine. I used the surgery as a reason to backslide, and boy have I ever. With the treadmill broken at the parental units' house (still have yet to repair/replace) and "winter", or as close to it as the high desert gets, I have been less than useful at getting in exercise there. At least my house one is in working condition. I even managed to use it while I was there over the weekend! Hey, some is better than none. Still not supposed to lift/tug more than 20 pounds which means that the dog is out of luck for walks since he pulls sometimes. Poor pooch likes his walks though, and really likes to play tug. He's out of luck for the next five weeks.

After a brief change of meds I am up and working reasonably well again. Managed to get a ton of things done at my house on Sunday. More than I had managed in the previous two months combined! Better living through chemistry. Now I'm back to being a slug after all the activity, but some use is better than none. I even found the surface of one of my catch-all tables! It never ceases to amaze me how much general junk gets dumped on that table. Or the sheer unbelievable amount of dog fur that accumulates around the house. Little tufts that roll like tumbleweeds along the corners of the wall. Three vacuum dumps later and I have a much cleaner house. I swear that I found a whole other dog's worth of fur. And the kitchen--I even cleaned the stove. Scary things happened on Sunday and I am happy with every one of them. Now if only I could bottle that energy for later use!

I had a little downtime last night and started to plot my next vacation. I found a cute little cabin near the mountains for hiking that won't break my bank. Only problem is that I am not sure when I will be able to get off from work to go gallivanting. It looks cute and is about half of what others would cost me, all because some of the nearby properties are a little rundown. That's fine with me. But we'll see when I can break free. At least not before the end of March. 

But now it is probably time for me to wind down my break and get back to work. After tea round three. I am getting in my caffeine today. Maybe that even means I will get in a walk to pick up meds from the Walgreen's nearby instead of waiting in line in the drivethrough.

The Curse of February

Has it hit? Yup. But this not-so-little dude helps. 

The job is in a holding pattern, which is good since the last two days of work (Wednesday and Thursday) were called on account of "snow", which is to say that there was a layer of ice on the roads and people here have bald tires and no clue how to drive in winter conditions. So I stayed put until it was safe to go home that Thursday evening. Nothing had frozen in the 7F nights, so all was well. Luckily, the heaters work well!

Then again, there is the funk that February and April (for some reason not March) bring. It hit early this year instead of mid-month like in past years. For some reason 2021 didn't happen. Well...2020 and 2021 just sort of existed as there was no sense of time. This year it is here, but being rapidly attacked by coping mechanisms. I am hoping that it is smooth sailing through March when my work project is through, otherwise my life becomes much more difficult. As it is, I'm having trouble thinking coherently and anticipating needs. And then there's food. All the food. It's my curse right now.

One good thing is that the doc ordered blood work that was useful. Low vitamin D and really low thyroid. Time to get to fix those things and maybe some of the giant cravings for all things munchable will go down. Heck, some of the mood might go up as well! As it is, I am up 11 pounds from where I was in December and just have given up. I keep starting out the day well and healthy and then descend into a food monster in the evening. I need a lock on the fridge and pantry! So part of my really wants to get back down and then the other part just...is tired.

And there you have it. The good, the bad, and the munchy. Here's to overcoming brainz.

Choices Nonetheless

 

I am Not Happy. Well, I am happy that I am no longer the owner of a gallbladder, but I have officially hit a large roadblock and have gained back 10 pounds since mid December. Not just because of surgery. I have let myself get into this predicament, because I have been eating everything in sight and haven't kept up on my exercise, using the simple reason of "I don't want to." Yes, the treadmill at the parental units' house is broken, and mine at home was for a time. I still can walk outside or do other exercise indoors. But I haven't and that's a choice I have made. Not a wise choice, but a choice nonetheless. 

So now I am at least back to tracking what I eat, even if that food is far over my calorie requirements. I also got on the treadmill today for the first time in a while. I found that I can use it whilst playing Animal Crossing on the TV, which is pretty awesome! So there are ducks, and turtles, and bunnies and such while I get a workout in without thinking about it. Too bad I can't get that done at my parents' place. I need to make a decision as to whether I can fix the treadmill or not and should just buy a new one to get myself back on track. But indecision is easier than decisions.

On the other hand, I have made the decision to keep a furry friend next to me that happens to be dreaming and barking in his sleep, just reminding me that I have done some things right. And that's encouraging.