I Did It! Now What?

Two hundred pounds! I made it! So why do I feel so bad?

I overate yesterday big time, celebrating my new victory--with food. Not the smartest thing to do when trying to lose weight. This morning, thanks to the extra food and drink, I weighed 201.5, which is no biggie since I know that it is not my...what shall I call it?...true weight. But still. Grr.

I think that for some reason I am trying to sabotage myself. Not consciously, but very much a real problem. It has been years since I was below 200. I now have only fifty to sixty pounds to go, but hey, that is a third of the way there. Maybe there is part of me that is holding on to a known part of my life. Perhaps it is because I think I don't deserve to be healthy (a horrible idea, but I know that it is there). Why? Who the bleep knows.

There is a new-to-me treadmill sitting in my living room now making it impossible for me to procrastinate walking... well, it should make it impossible. Yet I am sitting like a lump here on my comfy chair. I just paid for another year of pool use too, despite not having gone in a while. More on that in a bit. There are options for exercise depending on how I am feeling, yet the gumption to get up and do it is lacking and no amount of kicks to the rear seem to be changing that. Perhaps over-caffeinating would work.

So I need to find a real kick in the rear to counteract the self-sabotaging that I have been part of for a while. One good way to do that is to get back into swimming. Which I tried and failed miserably.

I figured that my old suit was not going to be up to the task of containing my (rather pain-in-the-back) boobage, so I dug out my new suit and tried it on. Success! It fit! I had a list of things to bring and do while at the pool. Pay for a year's pass which involved taking my checkbook with me, trade out suits, trade out towel, go for a swim, and (if I remembered) fill up my soap bottle.

I got to the pool, went to pay for the pass...and forgot my checkbook at home. Fine. I decided that I may as well try out the new suit. I get all situated and admire the results. Off to the pool!

About fifteen feet in I realize there is a problem: my built-in life preservers are trying to escape their holder. Fine. I can just do a different stroke. They truly escaped their holder. Whoops! Razzumfrassum grr. Back out of the pool I go, less than five minutes since I got in.

So I shower off and get back into clothes, growling all the way. I remembered the soap so I got that taken care of. Then I walk out without the old suit or switching out towels. At least I took home the new suit to alter it.

I get home and realize that nothing got accomplished except the thing that I had marked as optional.

At least I remembered the soap.

Bits and Pieces

Just a short post today. The dog is free and clear on lupus! As it turned out the lump was a pre-cancerous tumor that didn't have any chance of spreading to the rest of Link's body after being removed. All I have to do now is to keep an eye out for any more of those lumps and get them taken off quickly.

Yay! Healthy boy! (Now if only his joints would cooperate--both ACLs torn, but he is stable so no surgery.)

In other news: it is cold. I call 20's cold by the way. And the 40's aren't much better. Yay for reliable heat! I pray for all those who are without heat and shelter in this winter time. It is time for blanket donation again.

In the weight loss department I managed to not gain any weight while I was on vacation! Yay! This is pretty amazing considering that it was during Thanksgiving and my total amount of exercise consisted of going up and down the stairs at my grandparents to get from the TV to the fridge (okay, and the garage to the bedroom). The goodies were endless! Here is to losing some more weight in time for the new year! Hopefully another five pounds to get me to 200, but most likely it will be somewhere in the 204 range with how slowly I was losing before the trip combined with making edible goodies for family. I was wearing a tight men's size 44 belt when I started this whole thing. I now am a comfortable 38.

Finally, the worst part of coming home from a vacation is the unpacking, especially in a gear-heavy trip like hunting in the winter. Yesterday I managed to wrangle all the gear in and have some of it put away. I always forget just how big the Beast of a truck is until I unload an entire truck bed worth of gear! Another good reminder is when I have to get up and crawl around in the bed to unload items stuck out of reach from the sides (most of the stuff since the truck rides so high).

Now on to trying to get up the gumption to go swim or do some exercise of some sort. Swimming would be good since I have to pay for the pass again here in the next two weeks. Onward and downward into a pile of blankets!