4 Steps to My Work in Progress

It was...a year. 2020 round two in many ways. But I did manage to pull some learning opportunities out of it. 

4. I can temper my emotions with questions and introspection to regulate my reactions. 

I'm officially better at letting certain topics (like politics and religion) run off my back if it is going to take too much more energy to contradict someone than to just take care of myself. There are only so many cares in a day and, as my great-great-grandmother used to say, "Convince a fool against his will and he'll remain of the same mind still." That doesn't mean that I can't hold a good conversation on these topics, it is just giving myself permission to not take (or dodge, if necessary) every bait dangled before me.

3. Inaction is still a reaction. 

I'm constantly drilling this into myself, but my most frequent reaction to problems is not to tear into one side or the other, but rather to sit on my hands and stare at both options until either, A: the problem passes, or B: something bad enough happens to get me to move one way or the other. Hopefully it isn't too late to salvage whatever choice I looked back on as 'correct'.

2. Blaming others, while easy, isn't always the answer.

Example: Eating healthily

I put the food in my mouth in the amounts that I choose. Nobody else. Yes, they have voices in what we eat for dinner, but ultimately it is my choice. No matter how much healthy food I buy on the weekend it is only as good as my will/won't  power. I have been looking all over for something or someone to blame for my most recent funk in healthy eating. Depression? Yes, but that goes both ways. (depressed so I eat lousily, which makes me depressed, etc.) Cycles are just that, cyclical. But there is a way to break that, or there often is. Mine? Surgery. No unhealthy eating for at least the next two weeks after the procedure and probably not a lot of junk for the next few months out from there. One circle-breaking event. And my choice chancing making myself miserable with my food choices up until the procedure, just to get it out of my craving system.

1. My mind. My body. My...work in progress

I'm constantly changing. Heck, we all are. It's part of being human. I'm getting a little better with my accountability as time goes on. Kicking and screaming, mind you, but better nonetheless. Up for 2022: accepting that no food is good or bad, but that they may have effects on my body that I would rather not deal with. Now I just need to learn to play for the long game on my exercise and eating so that I can make my joints happier!